Caroline and Scott, Prom 2011

I'd like to share my Walgreens Photo Center photos with you.

Showdown at the LC Corral

Troubles brewing more than normal at the LC Corral.....  We'll probably have a showdown at 20 paces.

Yesterday is one of those days I'd like to forget.

Z left his phone at a high school in Evergreen.  He's had it a little over a week which seems to have heightened our aggravation.  He was at his track meet there, apparently running and texting is an event now, and he lost it.  He realized it when they were leaving and even went back to look for it, but couldn't find it.  A young person called me from it to tell me they found it and would put it in the school office.  Thank goodness for honest and smart people!  M was livid, of course, and had to telegraph the I told this would happen to me in any way he could other than verbally.  I called to confirm that the phone was indeed at the school office and it was.  We can't get there today and the school is closed tomorrow.  M is busier than hell and we don't know when we can get up there to get it next week.  There is a chance that one of the EMS teachers will be there and be able to pick it up.  As long as I know it's safe, I don't care if it's a week.  It will do him so good to not have it for awhile.

C missed her school soccer team and individual pictures yesterday.  I want to strangle her and her team probably does, too!

She didn't have school because the juniors were ACT testing in the morning.  She could have gone to school for lunch and the afternoon for study hall or tutoring, but why would she do that?!  She tried to get me to take the day off so I could take her to finish shopping for prom and get some waxing done.  I couldn't for financial and work schedule reasons.  I didn't press either and even try to take half of the day for a couple of reasons.  We had every opportunity to do this stuff last Saturday, but she was too busy attending a party for the brother of a girl she is feuding with (another example of how she would rather spend time with people she dislikes than stay home) and then spending the night with someone else that night.  Sunday was Easter.  No, I didn't tell her she couldn't go and do these things, but I did tell her that I doubted we would have time to go during the week before prom.  She went anyway.

She is So living in the moment.  We have had talk after talk about issues like this.  We've been trying to get her to think things through and to make good decisions, but she can't seem to learn the lesson.  She's not very good at living with the consequences of her actions, either, and constantly looks to us to work around her schedule.

Her grandmother offered to take her out yesterday to get done what she needed to get done.  They set up the time, but my mom was a bit late and C slept in and then didn't get going herself.  I sent a text reminding her of things she needed to do like take her dress with her to make sure the stuff she would buy would go with it.  She was specifically looking for undergarments, jewelry, and maybe something for her hair.  I also made note of the forecast for Saturday, COLD and WET, and suggested she look for some type of wrap or shawl.  Shopping with my mom is difficult, admittedly.  She's barely mobile so going anywhere takes three times as long, she likes to express her opinion, and passive aggressively to bend you to her will.  C got a bra, but didn't make sure it worked with her dress.  She bought a necklace, but they couldn't agree on a bracelet.  She refused to consider pantyhose.  She didn't even look for a shawl.  They went to two places.  C had made other plans to go to the mall at 1 with her prom date that isn't her boyfriend and another friend that is also going to prom.  She made my mom take her home so she could be picked up by Thing 1 and Thing 2.  My mom gave her $5, part of the money she was going to use to take C to lunch, and tried to get C to confirm her plans and asked her if she needed anything else since she was going to stay in the area because it was silly to go home across town and then come back to pick up S and Z for me at 3.

Needless to say, she was late getting back from the mall.  I don't think she even considered coming home to allow herself enough time to get ready and get to the high school.  She texted me at 3:50 to tell me she was on her way home.  I think her pictures were to be taken at 4:30.  I told her I was still at work, having got held up, and hadn't even planned on being the one to take her to the high school.  She was calling me at 4:15 to see where I was.  Duh!  Her team captain had called her to see where she was as they were setting up and couldn't wait for her.  There was no way she was going to make it walking and my mom wasn't in the area anymore.

I don't know how to get control of this situation.  I'm sure someone will tell me.....

I got home at 4:45 and she was on the couch watching T.V.  She had nothing to say.  I told her I was angry and disappointed, continuing our conversation from when she called me at 4:30 to say she had missed her pictures.  We didn't speak anymore.  I had called her dad already and I thought we would talk together later that night.

I took S and A and their friends that they had been hanging out with afterschool for $.31 Scoop Night at Baskin Robbins and had ice cream for dinner.  It didn't brighten my mood, unfortunately.

M is working all day Saturday since he is supervising some installation of a big piece of equipment.  He's had it planned for months.....long before all this prom crap started a couple of weeks ago.

Do you think we'll have made up by then?!  She has to get her nails done and her hair done.

Since M is working, I'm going to be the one who has to do it all.  A has swimming lessons at 9.  S has a soccer game at 11.  C's hair appointment is at 12.  If we want any pictures of C, I've got to go take them at the friend's house at 4 since M will probably still be working.

I'll have to ask my parent's for help being two places at once--my mom, the one she was rude to.

Maybe I should suggest that the prom date who isn't her boyfriend take her to her appointments?!

Schmoals

I spent a good part of the weekend in the kitchen going through cupboards and cleaning.  I can't believe how much junk and duplicates we have.  Somehow I ended up with six loaf pans and two bundt pans.  I think some of them must be my mom's.  She hasn't baked for years (no oven--don't ask) and so I think she brought them over for me to use at one point.  I also had a couple of lids for pans and storage containers that I no longer have.  I went through two junk drawers and threw most of the stuff away.  I cleaned most of the cupboards and reorganized, i.e. moved stuff from one cupboard to another.  I still have a bunch of work to do.  I'm dreading the refrigerator.  It hasn't been cleaned in a long, long time.

I threatened M that I was going to paint soon.  He doesn't believe me and I don't blame him.

Goals....Schmoals!  I have to have some.  I'm tired--really this time--of waiting for him to help me.  The other thing I'm tired of is him being so disapproving.  If he doesn't like what I'm doing or, more, how I'm doing things, then he should help or do things himself.  I know I'm not going to get new cupboards or a floor anytime soon.  I would like to regrout and replace the vinyl baseboard thingies around the cupboards.  One of the cupboard doors is hanging by one hinge.  The front of the silverware draw came completely off last night.  I don't know if it can be fixed.  The back door between the kitchen and mud room needs to be replaced because the dogs have almost scratched through the door to the front of it...but, again, why bother as they'll just destroy the new one.

He finally moved the old dishwasher out of the back room that's been there for three months.  I've asked him before, but he finally decided to do it.  Maybe my plan of guilting people into things worked?!

We had a nice Easter, otherwise.  S was upset that for the first year we didn't have an Easter egg hunt with plastic eggs.  A asked me at 8 p.m last night when we were going to dye eggs?  I did feel awful....  M and I went shopping with C for candy yesterday morning.  I came home and threw their baskets together.  The only thing we couldn't find was Pixie Sticks.  I told the kids that the Pixies were on strike.  S and A got stuffed animals.  The older two wanted ITunes and Xbox cards.  M caved.  We finished our day with an early dinner of ham and sides.  Oh, and M and I both helped S with her science fair project that is due tomorrow.

And There She Goes.....Again

I know I've been whiney more than ever lately.  Ugh and Ooops!

I'm not any more optimistic today, but I did decide to work a bit on my attitude and the things that have been bothering me.

I've been working on some quilt stuff in EQ7.  A boost of confidence and accomplishment can certainly help one's attitude.

I've also been working on some things around the house.  I've been doing laundry, cleaning in the kitchen, and cleaning in the living room.  I've been focusing on the clutter.

Still no help from the family, but I'm using my last gasp of manipulation.  Maybe if people see me working they'll pitch in if nothing but because of guilt.

Sadly

I've been informed that C will be getting ready for prom with her friends and someone else's mom at someone else's house.

Our house is in too much disrepair.  We have too many dogs.  We have too many kids.  We don't have enough space.

All this should make me....everyone....want to get my....our....act together, right?

Don't make me laugh.

It makes it easier for me to be busy/lazy.  Will no one step up to the plate?

I guess not.

It's too easy to be on FB, play video games, watch T.V., play Legos or dolls when not sleeping, school/work, or eating.  It's easier to hang out at other people's houses.

I think about taking a week off of work to work my butt off around the house, but I probably wouldn't get much done.

Maybe I'll just run away instead...

The Phones Have It

Two down with two more to go.....

Zach turned 13 today.

Sarah turned 10 today.

Z is thrilled to be a teenager.

S is thrilled to be a double digit age.

Z asked for my homeade (actually my mom's recipe) lemon cake so I made it.

Sarah decided on a cookies and cream ice cream cake.

We had a nice steak dinner at home before desert.

They were both thrilled to get their phones.  Z didn't even mind that he just got his and his 10-year old sister did, too.

Both waived parties in order to get them.

I hope it's all worth it.....

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is bliss.

When I find out things on my own, I'm twice as upset.

It doesn't take much to get me down in the dumps.

It's too late in my life and marriage to institute change.

I'm living the definition of hopeless everyday.

Now I'm leaving

Any moment I'll be gone

I think you'll notice

I think you'll wonder what went wrong

I'm not choosing

But I'm running out of fight

And this was decided so long ago

It was last night

If I Stay (Gayle Forman), p. 190

I just want out.  Out of my existence.  I find myself wishing that a lot lately.  Not be dead.  Or kill myself.  Or any kind of that stupid $#@*.  It's more that I can't help thinking that if I'd never been born in the first place..... Where She Went (Gayle Forman), p. 69

Quitting's not hard.  Deciding to quit is hard.  Once you make the mental leap, the rest is easy.

Where She Went (Gayle Forman), p. 182