No Such Thing as Family

I tried to plan a family outing yesterday.

I should have known better.

I suggested to all that we work together to get the house at least presentable for Thanksgiving.

We would go see Harry Potter on Sunday as our reward.

The boys kinda picked up their room on Saturday and sorta cleaned the sink and back of the toilet on Saturday.  C did a couple of loads of laundry and yelled at S to pick up her side of the room.  I puttered around the house.  M did nothing.

Sunday morning rolled around.  I was annoyed.  C was trying to figure out how to go to the movie AND do something with her friends even if it meant that we change the time we were going to go to the movie.  S didn't want to go to the movie because she wanted to go swimming with her friend and she thought she would be too scared AND oh, by the way, she's not into HP.

When I expressed my "sadness" to M, I got an unsympathetic lecture.  Kids will be kids.....  C is a teenager and it's typical for her to want to do things with her friends instead of us--HE WAS THE SAME WAY.

I put on my martyr hat.

It's hard NOT to be pushed over the edge when we talk.  One of the other things he said to me was that

he didn't know that our going to the movies was meant to be a family outing.....

He can't be that much of an idiot.

Dear Family,

Excuse me for wanting to do something as a family with you ALL.

I didn't want to necessarily go to see a movie with you ALL either, but in the interest of being a FAMILY and trying to do something as a FAMILY, I suggested a movie.

See if I EVER do it again!

Mom

C and I got into an argument.  S went swimming with her friend and then to play after.  M took C, Z, and A to the movie.  I stayed home.  (I did some laundry.  I cleaned up my sewing area by putting everything away--that's a whole 'nother story.)

I probably won't see it until it comes out on DVD.

Couch Number ?????

M and I have been together for 18+ years.  I moved in with him in 1992, I think, and we married in 1994.

I think we are on our seventh couch.

M's mom gave us a couch and M took my brother to get it today.  We are very thankful to be sure.  FREE is free.  We were down to two cushions on the one we've been using since the third one got peed on by Ginger, the diabetic dog.  One of the arms was down to the foam rubber.

M and I were trying to remember how many couches we've had.

He said he had a rattan couch when I moved in, but something happened to it.  Next we had another couch, but we think the dog destroyed it one day while we were at work.  After that one, we got a metal futon.  It had two pads.  We lived in a rental together for  six months before we moved to an apartment.  We took the futon with us to the apartment for a year and then to another rental before we bought our house.

After C was born, I bought a couch.  I loved that couch!  It was a rose color of all things and was a sleeper--I had always wanted a sleeper couch.  I think we had it a couple of weeks before it was "ruined" when one of the dogs pulled a greasy roast bag out of the trash to chew it up on the couch.  I could never get the stain out.  I cried and cried.

We replaced that couch with another hand me down from M's mom.  I don't remember how long it lasted.

I got a couch from a friend for $100 dollars after that one.  It lasted a year or so.....

The next couch was another hand me down.  I used to work for a company that delivered furniture for interior designers.  Sometimes people would donate their couches to Habit for Humanity or other places.  Many times they didn't want to have any extra time charges and would just pay another $50-$100 for disposal.  Sometimes the couches didn't even make it back to our warehouse for proper disposal (not kidding, guys said they would just open up the van doors and shove stuff out in an alley and race away.)  I put the word out that I was looking for a couch in good condition and finally one was up to be "disposed".  This couch is the one that we've been using.  It lasted three years--a record!

The "new" couch is cream colored.  M is supposed to be getting us a cover for it.  We've had it in the house for a couple of hours.  No LIE.......I have already cleaned poopy paw prints from one of the cushions and yelled at the dogs at least 25 times to get off of it.

One more instance where I can cheerfully say....I LOVE MY LIFE.

One More Time with Feeling

The standard symptoms of depression: Persistent sad or “empty” mood Loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling “slowed down” Sleep disturbance – sleeping too much or too little Appetite and weight changes – either loss or gain Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, irritability Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts.


Is the lack of direction the worst part of depression?

A: Oh, no. The most horrible part of living with depression was that I was not a good parent. That is one of the most devastating aspects of depression—no matter how I seemed on the outside, to other people—inside my brain I hurt so bad and was so scared that I was incapable of being the loving and nurturing parent I wanted to be. Depression affects not only the person who has it, but everyone they deal with.

You came close to suicide several times. Could you share some of your thoughts about this?

A: There were many times when I didn’t want to live. It’s not that I wanted to commit suicide. That requires at least a certain amount of planning and action, and I was incapable of doing that at the time. I just wanted not to be, to escape that terrible mental pain. Suicide causes immense pain to the survivors, who often blame themselves. But I don’t think most people who commit suicide do it to inflict pain. They may actually believe they are doing their loved ones a favor. When you are in the bottom of that black hole of depression you incorrectly believe that you are totally helpless—that is, nothing you can do will change anything—and totally hopeless—it will always be that way. So if that is the way you are understanding reality, then suicide becomes, in a way, a logical choice. That sounds twisted, and it is. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Depression Visible - The Ragged Edge

Maybe I should make a therapy quilt?

The Other Half

M and I went to dinner last night.  We were invited out by his boss and her husband in celebration of the new company.  It was a real treat!  We went to ChoLon Asian Bistro.  M and I probably never would have gone on our own, not because we don't like Asian food, but because we tend to stick close to home and we usually can't justify spending a lot of money for dinner.

The food was excellent!  The recommended course of dining is to go along with the family style type of service.  You are supposed to order a bunch of dishes and share.  I'm not a fan of lamb, but I ate it last night.  I even had lemon grass, brussel sprouts, cocunut jam with egg cloud on toast, and sea bass.  I drew the line at beef tartare.  I think my favorite of the night were the shrimp cakes, the coffee with condensed milk, and the bread pudding.  I had a few food orgasms and left in a food coma.

We even had wine with dinner--this is where I question sanity at dining at places like this.  We had two bottles of wine between the four of us.  I overheard that one of the bottles cost $78.

I did enjoy myself immensely, but my blog friends know me well.  I tried not adding up prices as we ordered.  I was glad not to have to pay the bill.

I thought to myself wouldn't it be nice to go to places like this and not worry about the bill?  If I had money, would I ever worry about the bill?

After dinner, we went home.  We thought about going somewhere else to make the most of the night, but I wasn't up to drink anymore and we were both in food comas.  M's boss and her husband were going to the Four Seasons.  The Denver location had its opening this week.

Psych

I had psyched myself up to sew last night, but life got in the way.

I came home from taking Z to his orthodontist appointment...  grrr!  I had to leave work at 12:45 and lost another 3 hours.  It's been a bad week for losing hours at work.  The orthodontist won't schedule the type of appointment that Z needed past 2:00 p.m.  Well, he was done in 40 minutes.  I just love orthodontist hours.  The office is closed on Fridays and frequently closed at least one other day a week.  The practice has just moved into another new location for the second time in four years.  I overheard the receptionist and office manager responding to a patient question as to how business was going.  She agreed with the patient that business was down 20% and volunteered probably more than that.  I know that if I were to start with another practice I would also factor availability into the decision.  I routinely have to take the kids out of school for their appointments and miss work or call on the grace of my parents to help me get them there.  Z has just started treatment, but C and S have maintenance appointments still.

It didn't make sense to go back to work so I stayed home.  I was able to piece two small sections of a Twilight block I've been working on for almost a week.  The block is more trouble than it's worth, but I have no choice...

I had to stop what I was doing to take C to soccer practice.  I thought I was done with all that, but she has make-up game on the schedule in two weeks so they are still practicing.  I was going to just drop her off, but S and A wanted to go an play at the park during her practice.  I caved....  there won't be too many nice days left--it's been downright balmy in Denver for November.  C's practice didn't end until 6:30 even though it was pitch black around 6:15.

I still had dinner to consider, but we had to make a trip to Hobby Lobby.  C wanted a T-shirt for some reason or another.  Z needed a T-shirt for his play costume.  Why am I having to buy it?!  He also wanted to add writing to it so we ended up buying iron-on letters, too.

No surprise that we ended up getting burritos for dinner because at that point I was just wiped out!  $$$$ that was not in my budget.

Ate my dinner and then helped S with her homework and made Z's shirt.

No sewing....

It could have been worse.  I could have been M.  He spent part of his evening snaking our bathroom drain.  The toliet started gurgling two days ago and the shower wasn't draining at its normal speed.  We've lived in the house long enough to know what that meant.  Turns out someone----the ghost that we live with----had been flushing paper towels or Lysol cleaning wipes which is a BIG no-no with our plumbing.

A New Quilt Store: Wooden Spools

Am I quilter or not?  Was I ever really?  Maybe it was just another hobby that I've lost interest in?  I've never been interested in another hobby for this length of time.  Why is it so important that I call myself a quilter?  How often do I need to sew to consider myelf a quilter?  Will I ever feel the love or the excitement again?

I just don't feel like sewing.  I don't know if it's because I don't have the time?  --I expect that if I really wanted to sew that I would make the time.  I don't know if it's because all that has happened in the past year and I can't overcome it.  My lack of interest could be attributed to all the stuff that is going on around me with family and work.  Yes, I've sewed a bit but I've had to force myself to do it.  I've felt more than anything that I just want to crawl into my hole and disappear.

What does this have to do with the "A New Quilt Store:  Wooden Spools"?

In the past, I've been able to shop myself into inspiration or a project.  About a month ago, I noticed a sign denoting "Quilting" for one of the shops in a groups of stores on Broadway which is on my way home.  I was excited especially because the store is about 10 minutes from my house!  I stopped a couple of weeks ago to take a look.  The store was just getting set up and I wasn't sure what to think.  This week is their Grand Opening and remembered this yesterday when I saw some balloons attached to their sign so I stopped. 

The store is called Wooden Spools.  The store also sells yarn.  The store is very small with part of their space taken up by a longarm quilt machine and the front area with yarn, the cutting table, and cash register.  The store is almost like a quilting thrift store. 

The store only had one group of new fabric, a few new books, and will offer classes.  The rest of their inventory consists of fabric they have purchased from customers or maybe even from their own stashes.  Here is how they do it!  Essentially, fabric is purchased by the pound up to 50 lbs at a time by appointment.  The fabric must be clean, in good shape, etc.

The atmosphere was great and the two owners were very friendly.  The store is clean and very well organized with FQs displayed as in any quilt shop and the fabric is displayed on shelves folded or wrapped on plastic storage cards/boards.  I think the fabric, quilt shop quality, sells for $5/yd.  Most of the selection was limited to a yard or two or even less of each fabric.

I'm curious to see if they will offer more classes (that I won't take) or have some quilting groups (that I won't dare to join)?

At least I know I have a place to sell my stash to as long as they are in business if it ever comes to that.....

Vote Early, Vote Often

M dropped our ballots of last Thursday.  The conspiracy theorist in me hopes that they will be counted.  (See, I'm not just a quilting group conspiracy theorist....)

I have never used my Mute button so often or changed the channel so much on my car radio.  I don't like political ads PERIOD!  I think they are at best misleading and useless.  I don't appreciate either side's use of ads.  I think they are a colossal waste of money.

I did vote with a purpose this election.  I felt better for it after hearing the President call me an ENEMY more than once the past week.