Boyfriend Quilt, Revised

C has decided she wants to ditch the buffalo and Colorado University.  I'm not sure, but it's her quilt..... even though I'm making it.

I still want a buffalo!

Plaid

I've been meaning to take a picture for days, but I just got to it today.  I actually tried the other night, but I didn't like the picture I had to take with the blocks on my table since my design wall is covered in a Twilight quilt.

Even at this stage, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to quilt it.  I'm going to have to quilt it myself.  I'm seriously thinking of quilting it in sections using Nancy Zieman's Column Quilts method.

I figure I can get away with quilting it with straight lines to accent the plaid pattern.

Lifting Weights

Payday!  I enjoyed it for all of two seconds before I logged on or made the calls to pay bills.  I'm left with $150.00 for two weeks.  Gas, groceries, and incidentals will eat that up quicker than I can blink.  I'll be asking for money from M by Monday, stressing over the asking and whether or not he'll help me.  He'll have to get the kids' school supplies and anything else that they need for sure.

I'm in quite the pickle, but the end is in sight.  I've got six more months of financial misery before I'll be in a better situation.  I'll still have one bill to pay another six months on, but then I will be in the clear.

I did the responsible thing by paying these bills today as soon as I got paid.  If I don't do this, I get myself into trouble.  One of them was past due and I have gotten a letter, email, and four calls a day, two each to my home phone and cell, requesting payment.  Calls that I should have taken, but ones I ignored because I couldn't deal.

My stomach in knots and my brain a buzz.....all because I wasn't responsible a month ago and went shopping for a girls day out with Sarah and because I took some days off from work when C had her surgery.  How quickly things snowball!

The funny thing is and a truth I wish I could realize is that I feel better even though I don't have any money.  I usually spend money, even on needed things, knowing I have bills to pay and then I feel horrible and sick seconds after.  Then, I spend whatever amount of time until I get paid eaten alive by stress.

I've gotten into the habit of this and it's hard to break the cycle.  It's almost like I don't know how else to live or I live off of these bad feelings.

Crazy!

I don't get much help from those around me, especially the kids.  I've been honest with them about how desperate my situation is, but they still constantly ask me for stuff.  Kids will be kids and I'm supposed to be able to say no, but its so tough.  I remember growing up and my parents not having any money.  I knew early in life not to ask for things.  If we couldn't get it at the commissary or at the BX, we didn't get it and, even if we did, it probably had to go on layaway first.

The fact that they still ask me and pester me for stuff makes me angry and depressed a lot.  I never know when M can help or when he can't.  He'll say that he doesn't have any money and then he'll go out an buy something--maybe he just doesn't have any money for me?

I'm positive today, but who knows how I'll feel tomorrow.

Temptation

I have the devil sitting on my shoulder, but my angel is missing.

I don't deal well with temptation.  I usually cave....  My solution is to not have things around to tempt me or put myself in situations where I will be tempted.  For instance, I don't buy junk food to be kept in the house (difficult with the kids) or go shopping just to look.

As is my M.O., I rarely deal with things head on.  I have to do something, though, because I'm forever eating, buying, or doing something to try to make myself feel better.

My most recent tempation is one of the flesh....(sounds so biblical).  If anyone sees my angel, I really could use a voice of reason.  I'm finding it more and more of a challenge to resist.

Would You Rather.....Quilting Style

I was up very late last night cutting all the fabric pieces for the C.U. quilt.  The fact that I did so is amazing in itself.  I actually did it this time so that C could help with the quilt.  She helped for a little while, but then got too tired....or bored.  Am I a bad mom if I say that I don't think she will be a quilter and that I can't make her?  She did manage to carry on an hour long text conversation with the boyfriend while cutting and didn't make many mistakes or cut off a finger so maybe she IS better at multi-tasking than I am?  I went ahead and finished cutting to get it done.....and so I wouldn't have to monitor C.

I've pieced three blocks and am working on the remaining three of Row 1 so at least I know that the blocks are good.  I think I worked out my seam direction pressing problems.

I know the best thing to do is to cut all the fabric out for a quilt after I'm sure I'm situated, but I always resist doing it.  I'm also the type who finds it very difficult to chain piece and has to grit her teeth while sewing on more than one block at a time.

I wish my brain weren't hot wired as such.  I would so go for hypnosis to try to work out my issues.

So, how do you do it?  I'm sure most quilters are organized, have a plan, follow a pattern, cut all their fabric out, etc.

Looking Forward to the Weekend

I'm really looking forward to the weekend.  It's been another long week even if I was in the office by myself for most of it.

I have a love/hate relationship with deadlines.  Without them, I wouldn't get anything done.  However, I still procrastinate and wait until the last minute to start and finish.  I routinely miss deadlines for things, especially for quilting.  I  usually get a pass.

Waiting for the End

I love Linkin Park!  I have my favorite songs, of course, and I loved this one as soon as I heard it.  The lyrics were written just for me, you know?! Waiting for the End

Lyrics | Linkin Park lyrics - Waiting for the end lyrics

Bumbling and Stumbling

I started making blocks for the C.U. Quilt last night.  I made a mistake right off the bat.....  I'm paper piecing the blocks.  I tried to draft them and figure things out so that the seams would nest, but I think I already screwed that up.  Quilting is such an adventure!

I was sewing along swimmingly piecing the first section of the first three blocks before I realized that I was using the fabric legend for blocks 2, 4, and 6 to piece blocks 1, 3, and 5.

The mistake isn't devastating as the blocks are the same except for how I had them grouped and numbered for pressing, but I was thrown for the rest of the night.  I also didn't take into consideration how the sections would be pressed when sewed together into the whole block.  I can make adjustments in the first section because the section below it is the applique section and not more plaid blocks.  I need to figure things out for the rest of the quilt, though.

Like I said, quilting is ever the adventure for me.

I would have sewed into the night, but S decided she wanted to watch Secret Life of the American Teenager Season 1 through Netflix.  I hate this show for a number of reasons, least of all the really bad acting!  And you ask, who is in charge at my house?  M wasn't home or he would have put his foot down and I would have been watching the same USA Network shows multiple times instead.

My kingdom for my own sewing room.

I wouldn't have been sewing at all had it not been for the storms that called the boys' baseball games.  I don't know how all the missed games are going to be made up?

Overall, it was an interesting night.  M was out until after 10 at a meeting for work which wasn't supposed to go that late which left me wondering if that's where he really was.  Z pouted in his room all night about the porn incident and the fact that we now have proof that he took $15 from C last week.  He had denied it, but C looked at his text messages in which he was going on and on about how he had an extra $15 to spend.  Idiot!  C is spitting mad and so am I since I ended up replacing the money, we knew he had taken it despite his denial based on previous incidents, and M didn't force the issue last weekend after saying he would take care of it.  He let Z's denial be the final say.....  Z can't even give the money back because he supposedly LOST it and his wallet on the way home Monday.   RIIIIIGHT.....

The thing is that he could get an allowance if he would just do the little we ask, but even that is too much for him.  The girls get their allowance regularly.  They have to keep their room clean and do x1 thing a day extra, like vacuuming or attending to some of the other build up of dirt around the house.  S has taken to cleaning door jams, mouldings, and walls.  C and Z are supposed to swap weeks cleaning the bathroom and tidying up the kitchen, including mopping the floor.  We aren't supposed to have to pester them to complete their chores and they have to have the bathroom and the kitchen cleaned by Sunday night.  Z refuses to pick up his room or attend to his sheets when he wets them, do his weekly job until we threaten him, and would rather steal money from other people than work for it.

The girls want a lock box for their room and I don't blame them.

I'm beginning to think he can't help himself.

Busted

We busted Z last night for visiting questionable websites.  He was at home watching his brother while we were at S's baseball game and C was out.  After we returned and were settled, I went to get online to do some more research for a Twilight quilting project and was greeted on screen by a bevy of naked women in a pop-up.

Oh, joy!

It is to be expected, right?  He's 13.

We've not had parental controls on the computer.  When we replaced the computer that died recently, M went through all the extra steps of setting up an admin account and user accounts for ITunes, me, him, and the kids.  The browser and how it displays is also a bit different.  You can have a bunch of separate Internet pages open and not really realize it or close them......

I was probably a pretty sneaky kid.  I wasn't a serious troublemaker and never did anything really bad, but I had issues with shoplifting, taking money from my parents, sneaking peeks at Christmas presents, hoarding food, etc.  I got pretty good at covering my tracks, but never good enough.  I'm sure my parents knew a lot of what I was doing, but they never really confronted me about anything.  I know I have issues today because of it.

Z isn't very good at covering up and, because of how I was as a kid, I almost always see what he's up to.  M thinks I'm being silly and that kids will be kids.  Yes, that is true...... but, I also know how things turn out when parents turn a blind eye.

In this instance, he just wasn't smart enough which continues to be a good thing.  He's the worst speller in the house.  When I saw lesbean and girl on girl actshun, I had to laugh.  He doesn't know how to clear history, about pop-ups, or that his brother has no loyalty and will tattle on him about everything.

We know have controls on the computer, the kids can't log on when we're not home, and he can't log on at all for awhile.  It's the way of the world.....

Let the Crazy Out

I don't want to quilt any longer, but every time I think about stopping I freak out.

What the heck is my problem?!

I believe that I am addicted.  Yes, addicted.

I have been doing some research about how to overcome addiction.

One of my fears is that I'll transfer to something else.

Fabric

I went fabric shopping with C Friday afternoon.  We started at Wooden Spools.  I prayed that we would find all of the fabric there because it's only $5/yd, but no such luck.  We only found the gold.  We ended up at the store I don't like as much because it's the next closest quilt shop.

She was steadfast in her selections.....

M is a little jealous.....  He went to C.U. and doesn't have a C.U. quilt, but he thinks he might need one.

C thinks the boyfriend is getting too clingy, though.  She feels smothered.

We went to see H.P. today.  I held off seeing it with the girls even though I really wanted to!  M and the boys got back from camping today.  One of the first things he asked me was if I had seen it.  I told him, "Of course not!  I wanted to see it with you and the family...."

The movie is awesome!  I did a Shannon thing by reading Movie Spoiler's write-up and I'm glad I did.  It helped me follow along with the movie and not get too confused.  I still haven't read all the books.  I think it was a little too scary and complicated for S and A.

With a Little Help from Quiltmaker and EQ7

What is about college and plaid that go together?  I'm not a plaid lover, but I immediately thought plaid for the quilt.  I've had the Mad About Plaid by Black Mountain Quilts in my library for-ev-er.  I've never made a quilt from the book, but I've always wanted to.  My favorite quilt, Scottish Plaid, seemed like a lot of work with all that strip piecing and I wasn't up to it.  Quiltmaker July/August '11 has a plaid quilt, too.  I was tempted once again.

I'm beginning to think that it would be nice if magazines started making EQ7 files available for patterns.....  I took the Quiltmaker quilt and drafted the block so I could audition the color scheme we wanted.  I kept shifting fabrics around and made Caroline help me until it looked like she wanted it.  We decided to add the grey.  The version above is what we settled on.  We haven't figured out the buffalo or the lettering, but we can wait on that.  I'll make the plaid blocks and leave that section open until we do.

Quilts=Love

C asked me to make a quilt today.

She wants me to make a quilt for the boyfriend that is headed off to C.U.

She says she knows he would like it and appreciate it because she's seen his room (whole 'nother story) and he's pretty sentimental and likes to keep things.  (His grandmother made quilts for him so he knows how special they are.)

In my mind, her asking me to make a quilt for someone special to her carries a lot of meaning.

It's no secret, I'm kind of lost right now.

This is a little bit of a pick me up.

I just wish she'd asked me sooner......

We have a bit of a time crunch now.

Shannonigans

I've been up to many things of late and so has the family.

I haven't figured anything out.  I'm not out setting the world on fire, though.

C had her third molar surgery.

S got hit by a baseball a couple of times.

Z is off camping with his troop.

A is back to having bathroom problems.

School starts mid-August.