Too Much to Handle

I have no time to be depressed.  I've decided.  This is not the first time I've moved on from a situation figuring it will just go away, but it's the way I roll.  I started thinking, though.

My mom had a full colonoscopy on Friday.  She got a good report.  It took her the whole weekend to recover and said it was a gawd awful thing to have to go through....  Something to look forward to, I guess.  The good news is that she won't have to have another one for 10 years unless she develops symptoms of a sort that would require another sooner.

We got into a discussion this morning after I asked her about how she was feeling and reviewing the kids' schedules, but she had to go after a spell....just about the time I started to talk about my suicide attempt when I was 16.  We were on the subject because she brought up about how she was worried about my brothers--B, 35 , specifically.  (K, 24, just went on anti-depressants.)  The latest news is that she thinks B's live-in girlfriend has moved out.  I was trying to express my serious concern about his welfare.  He has troubles in just about every area of his life and I think we all should be VERY worried.  I may seem callous, but I've been THERE.  Many people, including my parents, would say it can never be that bad.  It's more than that.  One may feel worse at times than other, but it's not always about degrees.  For me, it's about hope, things to look forward to, and even responsibilities that keep me from doing anything--oh, and my aversion to pain as an overriding factor. 

I was trying to be cautionary with my mom.  I was also trying to discuss our family's propensity towards depression and OCD.  Her answer about my situation and how she didn't realize how in trouble I was was that she had a new baby and was dealing with my grandfather dying of cancer who was living with us.  I get that.  I wasn't asking for an apology.....  I was trying to get her to realize that she shouldn't "ignore" for whatever reason how desperate B might be.  She didn't want to talk or couldn't.

My Mom Strike lasted for all of two days.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I don't know if I got through to anyone or not.  I think M just figured I was having another one of my spells and that it would blow over.  He ignored me and was real jovial with the kids.  I'm in a losing position no matter how you look at it.

I guess I'll have to just get back to business.  I plan on attacking the bathroom this weekend.  It hasn't been cleaned in..............  I'm going to buy a new shower curtain and rod to cover up the exposed brick wall in my shower.  I'm also going to buy a shower curtain set to go where one usually goes.  I'm also going to price front doors, research how to fix screens, and pick out paint.  I know I've said I was going to take charge of home improvements before, but I mean it this time!

On the sewing front:  I sewed a little last night.  I started piecing the Twilight book cover block I made.  I've already discovered one problem area in one of the sections, but I think I can fix it without too trouble.