How Do You Say NO?

M had his heart set on a new T.V.....the 42" HDTV kind!  At some point during the year, I commented "wouldn't it be nice if we could get the kids to agree to getting a new T.V. instead of a bunch of individual gifts?"

IT WAS ONLY A COMMENT and me wishing and hoping OUT LOUD.

(Why is it that M never listens or complies to much of anything I say or do except for me wishing and hoping out loud?  Oh, yeah....he listens when it's something he wants or agrees with.)

When we were discussing Christmas a month or so ago and I had asked the kids for their lists, M told me he thought that we were going to just get a new T.V. for Christmas?!  So, I ended up being the bad guy when I put the kabash on his plans.  The kids wouldn't really stand for just gettting a family T.V. for Christmas and I wasn't going to make them.

M had a good Christmas this year....i.e. he got a good bonus and we got money from his parents, etc. so he was able to PROVIDE for the family Christmas.

Now, remember I have no say in things REALLY.  It's why I've given up being the one that actually shops for Christmas and b'days.  (Yes, I could budget and save so I could do a better job but I'm the one who has her paycheck spent on necessities and frivolities a week after payday.)

My way of manipulating how much gets spent is by warning the kids ahead of time about being conservative in their desires.

The kids were pretty good except for the afore mentioned baby doll that was $$$ and Z's desire to have an Xbox (a very tricky situation because it you get one and GIVE IT TO HIM he thinks it's his ONLY and refuses to SHARE without a FIGHT------even if it was the ONLY thing he wanted we didn't think it was a good idea to just give it to him.)

I'm not a total GRINCH.....  I do ENJOY seeing the kids get their hearts' desires.

(I even ended up with some cash from M to help with my bills, but I've still got people hunting me down and have had to make some pretty awful payment arrangements that will weigh me in 2011 and make me feel like I've made deals with some lone sharks.)

M had all but given up on his T.V.  He got the Xbox as the family gift.  C got her money to shop for herself as requested because once she hit 13 we were no longer able to be trusted to buy anything for her in way of gifts.  A is in Lego Heaven.  S is a new mom of an overpriced baby doll and crib.  Z and (M and C to play , too) got a couple of awful video games--you know, the really awful ones RATED M FOR MATURE.

Sunday morning arrived and M jumped at the chance to play some of the games on our ridiculously outdated T.V.  He got to experience first hand just how poorly suited the T.V. was to really experiencing the games as if he didn't believe the kids' review.  Tiny picture and "OMG, that print is too small to read.  How am I supposed to know which button allows me shoot 50 plus rounds into that Nazi zombie bastard?"

Off to the store he went with all the kids who needed to spend the g-ma, g-pa, and aunt money they's received.  He is a saint because I refuse to do this CHORE.  There is no talking the kids into waiting because they never believe that there won't anything good to buy with everything picked over after the Christmas rush except for marked down Christmas paper, decorations, and the toys nobody wanted in the first place.

What should he bring home?

Yes....a 42" HD T.V.

This is the story I got.  He talked the kids into using some of their money to buy the Keurig coffee maker he has been lusting after.  He made a deal with them.  If they would buy him the coffee maker, then he would buy the T.V.

I'm not lying!  What kind of strange logic is this?!  Is this what really happened or is the story they're feeding me?  They are united so I will probably never really know....

I'm not saying that I'm not enjoying the new T.V.  (I can't wait to watch the Twilight movies on it.  I really enjoyed watching Despicable Me last night.)

I'm just feeling very irresponsible right now.  I know we're sending the wrong message.

M is very proud that he didn't use any credit cards for Christmas this year.  There is THAT, I suppose.

A Gift I Didn't Want

C has gifted me her cold for Christmas.  I should have expected it.  I think I've been sick every Christmas for as long as I can remember.  Sometimes it hits before so that I'm recovering by Christmas, but this just slows me down as I'm trying to get all my last minute things done.

I'm off for the next couple of days, at least.

I spent the morning shopping for fudge ingredients, stocking stuffers, and other supplies.

I'm making my sister fudge for a gift.  I even bought candy boxes and packaging supplies so the presentation is gift worthy.  The butterscotch fudge is rich!  I used a very simple recipe that only requires butterscotch chips, white chocolate chips, condensed milk, butter extract, and rum extract.  I also made rocky road fudge by request.  C was like, "Are you making that for us?"  Nope.

I also had to get small ziploc bags to hold individual servings of coffee mixes.  My dad and sister told me the ones that were their favorites last year:  French Silk Mocha, Spiced Mocha Coffee, and Chocolate Coffee.  I made 12 of each to be split evenly between the two of them.  The girls helped as we made them in an assembly line.  I was thankful for their help as it would have been very difficult for me to keep track of ingredients on my own.

Throw in some lottery scratch tickets and a homeade quilted "baked" potato microwaveable pouch for each of them and I think I'll have perfected white trash gift giving.

I still don't have anything for my mom.  Ugh.....  I really should have gotten inspired and made something spectacular, but I really wasn't into it and now I'm really regretting my malaise.  She's into cookbooks, reads them like novels, so there's always that idea.

It's funny how much one spends on stucking stuffer stuff for four kids when all is said and done.  Between the candy and the little gifts one gets.....

I've gotten nothing for M.  Double ugh!  Looks like it will be ITunes and a restaurant gift card.  He wants a new coffeemaker--probably one of those Keurig things.  The trouble with him is that he can buy himself whatever he wants.  Maybe my permission or lack of bitching about him buying himself one could be my gift?!

From the Files of "You've Got to Be Kidding Me"

Did I blink or are there still nine days until Christmas?!

I thought so.

Then, why, ask me, why....

.....does my grocery store have Easter candy out?

No, I'm not lying.

My King Soopers and, I would assume, all the King Soopers have Cadbury Eggs and Russel Stovers Creme Eggs front and center for sale by the checkouts.

I don't know if to complain or not since Cadbury Eggs are my favorite, but seriously?!

I thought it was bad when stores started putting Christmas stuff out before Halloween.

Dear Santa,

Please ask the Easter Bunny's permission to put a Cadbury Egg in my Christmas stocking, will ya?

I haven't been very good this year, but chocolate soothes all wrongs.

HUgZ,

Shannon

A Book in the Making

I am itching to write a story.  The idea came to me tonight.

I've never aspired to be a writer.  I've never thought I had what it took:

A story, continued access to my creative self, the fortitude, .....

I'd like to try.

I have identified 2011 as the year I ditch the fear.

Sewing with Kids

12 Days until Christmas.......or 12 for me to get into a good mood.  I really think I can do it!  Add another week onto that and I'll be raring to go for 2011.  No doubters now!

I'm pretty sure I've ruined any chance of turning C into a domestic goddess and certainly not a quilter .  We had our issues with each other when I tried a couple of times.  I put the blame squarely on my shoulders.  I didn't give up trying to get her to want to sew even if I couldn't teach her and so I enrolled her in a couple of summer camp classes at JoAnns a couple of years ago.  She went, but she never asked to go anymore or learn anything else so I dropped it.

S is a different story.  She seems interested.  I've tempered my perfectionist ways and let her be.  I'm trying to teach her the basics as much as possible and then allowing her to grow.

We sewed a bit together yesterday.  She started a quilt months ago, but stopped working on it.  She invariably wants to start sewing at 8:30 at night.  It wouldn't be so bad, but we don't keep her sewing machine out.  I need to fix that and find room so she can just hop on and sew when the mood suits.

She burned her finger on the iron yesterday and that put a damper on her wanting to keep sewing.  I should have supervised her better or not let her iron at all, but she really wanted to.

Resistance is Futile

Resistance is futile.  I could never be classified as a Trekkie.  I have a huge respect for fans and the shows, but this is probably the only line I can quote and I probably didn't even get it right.  I've always been fascinated by the Borg.  I sometimes think about being part of a collective and maybe being a Queen Bee.  hmmmm.....  After my last post I had this dream where I was a part of a collective quilting group of pod people--it got really scary!

Onward!

I dumped awarded the Christmas shopping to M this year.  My involvement has become less and less over the years.  M is always the one with the money.  We use to shop together, but I don't even bother with that anymore.  It was tough a couple of years ago when he first started shopping, but I would sometimes give him too much input.  (It's really bad for me now as my past has finally really caught up with me.  Merry Christmas to me!)  The kids have written their lists and he has them in hand for some unfettered shopping and of buying things that I would never buy because of impracticality and the expense.....but, hey, it's not my money.

Like the baby doll that S wants that is $69.95.  WTF?!  The thing is just a doll and doesn't even poop or cry....  He was having trouble finding things on S's list so I went online with her last night and helped her look things up and send him the exact links.  When I got to the baby doll, I couldn't believe it?!  I was like, "Wow.....that's a lot of money" and S was like, dejectedly, "really?".  I hated to disappoint, but really??????  I planned on talking to M about it and suggesting we find something different, but when I approached him he said he had already bought it.   ooooookay, then

And before anyone says anything about what I should do, etc.....been there, done that.  Pretty much all there is left to do is leave or live with it.  After almost 20 years, I've made my marriage bed so I guess I'll have to live with it.

After the baby doll talk, we lit on a discussion of a gift suitable for his cousin and hubbie.  The family is the only one we exchange gifts with from M's family--everyone gives us stuff but we get a pass because of the four kids and our financial situation.  The daughter wants gift cards.  I've always made a quilt or something homeade, but not this year.  M and I discussed it last night and didn't resolve anything.  I refuse to get sucked in.....  My suggestion was for him to send them Harry and David or something.

Not that I wasn't tempted, mind you--I want to make this for someone.  (don't ask me why that someone isn't me?!)  Wouldn't it be cute to make this for someone and give it to them a month at a time?....because God knows I would never be able to get a full set done in time to gift all together.

Quilts in Montana


Bah Humbug....everyone  It's no way to live.

The Cranky Quilter

As I sit here, at work--don't tell, pondering my existence....or at least the future of my quilting and this blog for the 100th time, I'm also reading a blog from start to finish.  I don't remember how exactly I came across this blog--probably hopped from someone's sidebar--but I'm so happy that I did and thank you to whomever helped me find it.  I've been entertained immensely.
The Cranky Quilter and the first post.

It's a well known fact that I'm cranky.  I'm cranky most of the time and often worse.

How is it that some people can be loved for their crankiness and some, like me, just seen as whiny or a chronic complainer who can't be happy about anything?

Does it have to do with the frequency, the degree, or the manner in which one is cranky that causes one to be liked, tolerated, or disliked?

Last Saturday I went to the first meeting of the Front Range Modern Quilt Guild.  I almost didn't go.  I figured this would probably be my last chance to be a part of a quilting group.  I'm very lonely you see.....  I made up a ton of excuses not to go.  The meetings are in Monument for goodness sake.  The family wouldn't like me doing something on my own.  I'm not a modern quilter--I like patterns, my ruler, and for my points to match.

I went.  I told myself to keep my mouth shut.  hahahahaha...  I told myself to go with the flow.  I told myself to enjoy the ride.  I told myself to not worry about what was going on at home.

I was there for all of a couple of minutes before my mom was calling my about my suicidal brother who had an anxiety attack, was experiencing alcohol withdrawal, and was in the hospital.  "Don't worry, though."  M was texting me at 7 to ask when I was coming home?  He hadn't fed the kids and thought that I would be home in time for us all to go to dinner at the disneyland of dining, The Golden Corral.  (I know I told him when and where the meeting was....  Oh, and it's perfectly fine for him to schedule family outings and be pissy when something goes wrong.)  I didn't keep my mouth shut at the meeting.  I also didn't keep my mouth shut on the way home with my carpool gals.

What is it about women getting together?!  Is it just me or is it a recipe for disaster?!  We were all pleasantly polite, but there was an undercurrent to the meeting.  The leader got of to a great start by insulting have the people attending with some ageist comment....I kid you not!

Oh, and do you want to know why there isn't a Denver Modern Quilt Guild--I guess there is or is going to be but before anything got off the ground there was already a falling out.

********I had nothing to do with it***********  I didn't even hear about it until on the way home?

Modern quilting is supposed to be the new wave because of the no-rules mantra, hyper-creativity, and inclusive membership but I can tell you that there was a distinct bias towards old, fuddyduddy quilters and traditional rules who belong to guilds like ACC which is probably akin to the way traditional quilters and guilds look at modern quilters and the movement.

Why can't there be a meeting of the minds even in the quilting world?  Oh, yeah...., women are involved.

The modern movement is just as bad as the traditional one.  Everyone looks down their noses at everyone else.  Fights break out over whether or not to wash fabirc before its used.  Steam or no steam when ironing PRESSING?

Gawd!

I left the Front Range Modern Quilt Guild.  I don't think I have the stomach for it.  I thought it better to quit while I was ahead or before I ended up with scissors in my back.  I'll just stay lonely....

There's a First Year for Everything

I think this is the first year since I've officially designated myself as a quilter that I haven't had a quilted gift in the works for someone for Christmas.

I'm sure most everyone is breathing a sigh of relief.....

My family for not having to put up with my last minute raging sewing.

The recipient who most likely would have preferred a store bought gift or a gift card....oh, and a gift that is actually finished and gifted on time.

I can't say that I haven't felt the urge to make something for someone.  I have and the urge has been actually pretty intense, but I've resisted it so far.  I have seen some really cool quilts and gift ideas in my travels to shops and blogs.

Yes, I'm experiencing the joys of another year not being organized or ready for Christmas.

There's always next year....

Queen of Mashed Potatoes

My record remains intact.  I have never cooked a turkey.  .....Haven't needed to as my mom always has it covered.

When M and I first got together, we celebrated multiple Thanksgivings with family.  We're down to one, but it's screwier than ever.  It would have to be, right?

We've evolved to my mom cooking everything at her house, including the turkey, and then bringing it to my house to eat.  Why not just go over to her house and eat?  She's a hoarder and there is nowhere to sit and eat.

It is what it is.  I try not to be upset about anything, because it's just one day a year.....  My mom identifies with her cooking skills.  Her health dictates the situation.  There are many reasons.....

I didn't breakdown until yesterday morning.  M tried to make it all better with a Venti Gingerbread Latte.

I was doing okay with the situation until I learned that she wouldn't be coming over to bake pies on Wednesday.  We still had the pies...... but, not anymore as of this year.

Part of the problem is that she is almost immobile.  I live in an old house with two sets of four stairs to get into my house.  (She even fell yesterday on the way in!)

I made M's apple pie yesterday.  We prefer ham so I cooked that--well, heated it up.  I also made him his chili (a family traditional dish for him that he puts on his mashed potatoes....can you believe it's the first year that I made it for him?!)

I am also the Queen of Mashed Potatoes.  I get to make them.

I had my fuss in the morning and got over it throughout the day.  I should have been happy because I didn't really have to cook.

And, yes, I totally got over myself when we sat down to eat.  It's easy to forget, forgive, and get over all the drama as soon as that first mouthful of delicious mom-cooked food passes my lips.

Happy day after Thanksgiving everyone!

Tangled up in love

S and I went to see Tangled today.  I loved it!  I think S liked it, too.

I'm a huge fairy tale fan....the more romantic the better!

Is it possible to be in love with an animated character.  Flynn Rider...be still my heart!  I suppose if I can be in love with a fictional character, Edward, why not an animated one?

I didn't realize that this was Disney's 50th animated film.  I didn't realize it was CGI until I got home to see some of the interviews about the film.  I thought the animation looked different.  We didn't see it in 3D as I'm not a fan.

I thought Mandi Moore was perfect as Rapuzel.  I've always loved her voice and acting.  I couldn't picture who Zachary Levi was so I had to look him up...oh, Chuck.  Donna Murphy, who?  She is delightful as Mother Gothel and rivals any other Disney villain.

The story was developed just enough.  The were just enough songs.  The comedic parts were well placed.  Rapunzel was rescued but did enough rescuing of her own and was just enough of an independent heroine.  Flynn Rider isn't a perfect hero, but he ends up coming through in the end as any true prince would.

How good was it?  I would see it again!!  I rank the movie up there with my favorites, Beauty and the Beast and Anastasia.

No Such Thing as Family

I tried to plan a family outing yesterday.

I should have known better.

I suggested to all that we work together to get the house at least presentable for Thanksgiving.

We would go see Harry Potter on Sunday as our reward.

The boys kinda picked up their room on Saturday and sorta cleaned the sink and back of the toilet on Saturday.  C did a couple of loads of laundry and yelled at S to pick up her side of the room.  I puttered around the house.  M did nothing.

Sunday morning rolled around.  I was annoyed.  C was trying to figure out how to go to the movie AND do something with her friends even if it meant that we change the time we were going to go to the movie.  S didn't want to go to the movie because she wanted to go swimming with her friend and she thought she would be too scared AND oh, by the way, she's not into HP.

When I expressed my "sadness" to M, I got an unsympathetic lecture.  Kids will be kids.....  C is a teenager and it's typical for her to want to do things with her friends instead of us--HE WAS THE SAME WAY.

I put on my martyr hat.

It's hard NOT to be pushed over the edge when we talk.  One of the other things he said to me was that

he didn't know that our going to the movies was meant to be a family outing.....

He can't be that much of an idiot.

Dear Family,

Excuse me for wanting to do something as a family with you ALL.

I didn't want to necessarily go to see a movie with you ALL either, but in the interest of being a FAMILY and trying to do something as a FAMILY, I suggested a movie.

See if I EVER do it again!

Mom

C and I got into an argument.  S went swimming with her friend and then to play after.  M took C, Z, and A to the movie.  I stayed home.  (I did some laundry.  I cleaned up my sewing area by putting everything away--that's a whole 'nother story.)

I probably won't see it until it comes out on DVD.

Couch Number ?????

M and I have been together for 18+ years.  I moved in with him in 1992, I think, and we married in 1994.

I think we are on our seventh couch.

M's mom gave us a couch and M took my brother to get it today.  We are very thankful to be sure.  FREE is free.  We were down to two cushions on the one we've been using since the third one got peed on by Ginger, the diabetic dog.  One of the arms was down to the foam rubber.

M and I were trying to remember how many couches we've had.

He said he had a rattan couch when I moved in, but something happened to it.  Next we had another couch, but we think the dog destroyed it one day while we were at work.  After that one, we got a metal futon.  It had two pads.  We lived in a rental together for  six months before we moved to an apartment.  We took the futon with us to the apartment for a year and then to another rental before we bought our house.

After C was born, I bought a couch.  I loved that couch!  It was a rose color of all things and was a sleeper--I had always wanted a sleeper couch.  I think we had it a couple of weeks before it was "ruined" when one of the dogs pulled a greasy roast bag out of the trash to chew it up on the couch.  I could never get the stain out.  I cried and cried.

We replaced that couch with another hand me down from M's mom.  I don't remember how long it lasted.

I got a couch from a friend for $100 dollars after that one.  It lasted a year or so.....

The next couch was another hand me down.  I used to work for a company that delivered furniture for interior designers.  Sometimes people would donate their couches to Habit for Humanity or other places.  Many times they didn't want to have any extra time charges and would just pay another $50-$100 for disposal.  Sometimes the couches didn't even make it back to our warehouse for proper disposal (not kidding, guys said they would just open up the van doors and shove stuff out in an alley and race away.)  I put the word out that I was looking for a couch in good condition and finally one was up to be "disposed".  This couch is the one that we've been using.  It lasted three years--a record!

The "new" couch is cream colored.  M is supposed to be getting us a cover for it.  We've had it in the house for a couple of hours.  No LIE.......I have already cleaned poopy paw prints from one of the cushions and yelled at the dogs at least 25 times to get off of it.

One more instance where I can cheerfully say....I LOVE MY LIFE.

One More Time with Feeling

The standard symptoms of depression: Persistent sad or “empty” mood Loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling “slowed down” Sleep disturbance – sleeping too much or too little Appetite and weight changes – either loss or gain Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, irritability Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts.


Is the lack of direction the worst part of depression?

A: Oh, no. The most horrible part of living with depression was that I was not a good parent. That is one of the most devastating aspects of depression—no matter how I seemed on the outside, to other people—inside my brain I hurt so bad and was so scared that I was incapable of being the loving and nurturing parent I wanted to be. Depression affects not only the person who has it, but everyone they deal with.

You came close to suicide several times. Could you share some of your thoughts about this?

A: There were many times when I didn’t want to live. It’s not that I wanted to commit suicide. That requires at least a certain amount of planning and action, and I was incapable of doing that at the time. I just wanted not to be, to escape that terrible mental pain. Suicide causes immense pain to the survivors, who often blame themselves. But I don’t think most people who commit suicide do it to inflict pain. They may actually believe they are doing their loved ones a favor. When you are in the bottom of that black hole of depression you incorrectly believe that you are totally helpless—that is, nothing you can do will change anything—and totally hopeless—it will always be that way. So if that is the way you are understanding reality, then suicide becomes, in a way, a logical choice. That sounds twisted, and it is. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Depression Visible - The Ragged Edge

Maybe I should make a therapy quilt?

The Other Half

M and I went to dinner last night.  We were invited out by his boss and her husband in celebration of the new company.  It was a real treat!  We went to ChoLon Asian Bistro.  M and I probably never would have gone on our own, not because we don't like Asian food, but because we tend to stick close to home and we usually can't justify spending a lot of money for dinner.

The food was excellent!  The recommended course of dining is to go along with the family style type of service.  You are supposed to order a bunch of dishes and share.  I'm not a fan of lamb, but I ate it last night.  I even had lemon grass, brussel sprouts, cocunut jam with egg cloud on toast, and sea bass.  I drew the line at beef tartare.  I think my favorite of the night were the shrimp cakes, the coffee with condensed milk, and the bread pudding.  I had a few food orgasms and left in a food coma.

We even had wine with dinner--this is where I question sanity at dining at places like this.  We had two bottles of wine between the four of us.  I overheard that one of the bottles cost $78.

I did enjoy myself immensely, but my blog friends know me well.  I tried not adding up prices as we ordered.  I was glad not to have to pay the bill.

I thought to myself wouldn't it be nice to go to places like this and not worry about the bill?  If I had money, would I ever worry about the bill?

After dinner, we went home.  We thought about going somewhere else to make the most of the night, but I wasn't up to drink anymore and we were both in food comas.  M's boss and her husband were going to the Four Seasons.  The Denver location had its opening this week.

Psych

I had psyched myself up to sew last night, but life got in the way.

I came home from taking Z to his orthodontist appointment...  grrr!  I had to leave work at 12:45 and lost another 3 hours.  It's been a bad week for losing hours at work.  The orthodontist won't schedule the type of appointment that Z needed past 2:00 p.m.  Well, he was done in 40 minutes.  I just love orthodontist hours.  The office is closed on Fridays and frequently closed at least one other day a week.  The practice has just moved into another new location for the second time in four years.  I overheard the receptionist and office manager responding to a patient question as to how business was going.  She agreed with the patient that business was down 20% and volunteered probably more than that.  I know that if I were to start with another practice I would also factor availability into the decision.  I routinely have to take the kids out of school for their appointments and miss work or call on the grace of my parents to help me get them there.  Z has just started treatment, but C and S have maintenance appointments still.

It didn't make sense to go back to work so I stayed home.  I was able to piece two small sections of a Twilight block I've been working on for almost a week.  The block is more trouble than it's worth, but I have no choice...

I had to stop what I was doing to take C to soccer practice.  I thought I was done with all that, but she has make-up game on the schedule in two weeks so they are still practicing.  I was going to just drop her off, but S and A wanted to go an play at the park during her practice.  I caved....  there won't be too many nice days left--it's been downright balmy in Denver for November.  C's practice didn't end until 6:30 even though it was pitch black around 6:15.

I still had dinner to consider, but we had to make a trip to Hobby Lobby.  C wanted a T-shirt for some reason or another.  Z needed a T-shirt for his play costume.  Why am I having to buy it?!  He also wanted to add writing to it so we ended up buying iron-on letters, too.

No surprise that we ended up getting burritos for dinner because at that point I was just wiped out!  $$$$ that was not in my budget.

Ate my dinner and then helped S with her homework and made Z's shirt.

No sewing....

It could have been worse.  I could have been M.  He spent part of his evening snaking our bathroom drain.  The toliet started gurgling two days ago and the shower wasn't draining at its normal speed.  We've lived in the house long enough to know what that meant.  Turns out someone----the ghost that we live with----had been flushing paper towels or Lysol cleaning wipes which is a BIG no-no with our plumbing.

A New Quilt Store: Wooden Spools

Am I quilter or not?  Was I ever really?  Maybe it was just another hobby that I've lost interest in?  I've never been interested in another hobby for this length of time.  Why is it so important that I call myself a quilter?  How often do I need to sew to consider myelf a quilter?  Will I ever feel the love or the excitement again?

I just don't feel like sewing.  I don't know if it's because I don't have the time?  --I expect that if I really wanted to sew that I would make the time.  I don't know if it's because all that has happened in the past year and I can't overcome it.  My lack of interest could be attributed to all the stuff that is going on around me with family and work.  Yes, I've sewed a bit but I've had to force myself to do it.  I've felt more than anything that I just want to crawl into my hole and disappear.

What does this have to do with the "A New Quilt Store:  Wooden Spools"?

In the past, I've been able to shop myself into inspiration or a project.  About a month ago, I noticed a sign denoting "Quilting" for one of the shops in a groups of stores on Broadway which is on my way home.  I was excited especially because the store is about 10 minutes from my house!  I stopped a couple of weeks ago to take a look.  The store was just getting set up and I wasn't sure what to think.  This week is their Grand Opening and remembered this yesterday when I saw some balloons attached to their sign so I stopped. 

The store is called Wooden Spools.  The store also sells yarn.  The store is very small with part of their space taken up by a longarm quilt machine and the front area with yarn, the cutting table, and cash register.  The store is almost like a quilting thrift store. 

The store only had one group of new fabric, a few new books, and will offer classes.  The rest of their inventory consists of fabric they have purchased from customers or maybe even from their own stashes.  Here is how they do it!  Essentially, fabric is purchased by the pound up to 50 lbs at a time by appointment.  The fabric must be clean, in good shape, etc.

The atmosphere was great and the two owners were very friendly.  The store is clean and very well organized with FQs displayed as in any quilt shop and the fabric is displayed on shelves folded or wrapped on plastic storage cards/boards.  I think the fabric, quilt shop quality, sells for $5/yd.  Most of the selection was limited to a yard or two or even less of each fabric.

I'm curious to see if they will offer more classes (that I won't take) or have some quilting groups (that I won't dare to join)?

At least I know I have a place to sell my stash to as long as they are in business if it ever comes to that.....

Vote Early, Vote Often

M dropped our ballots of last Thursday.  The conspiracy theorist in me hopes that they will be counted.  (See, I'm not just a quilting group conspiracy theorist....)

I have never used my Mute button so often or changed the channel so much on my car radio.  I don't like political ads PERIOD!  I think they are at best misleading and useless.  I don't appreciate either side's use of ads.  I think they are a colossal waste of money.

I did vote with a purpose this election.  I felt better for it after hearing the President call me an ENEMY more than once the past week.

Halloweeeeeeenie

The weather in Denver was WONDERFUL for Trick or Treating.  I can't remember the last time it was SO nice.

C went out with her friends.  It was like Homecoming redux.  She put together her costume with help from her friend's mom at the last minute.  I think she was supposed to be a Greek Goddess because she wore a short toga with a white long sleeved T-shirt underneath and gold artificial leaves bobby pinned in her hair.  I didn't get a picture.

I took Z to my mom's so he could go with his friends.  We got his costume today.  $$$$$  He went from wanting to be a "shadow with swords" in black with only having to buy a mask and accessories to being a scary jester and a purchased costume.  I couldn't say no.  I hope to get a pic when he gets home as I didn't get one when he left because he wasn't wearing his costume yet.

S was a Neon Fairy.  I actually was doing pretty well managing the cost of the costume until we purchased glittery shoes this morning.  hahahahaha.....  oh, and purple eye shadow!  She probably had the most fun as she went with her friend to the rec center Halloween party last night and then out again tonight with another group of friends.  I got pics of her last night sans glittery shoes and eye shadow....

She was very particular about her hair.  I only had hot rollers and not a curling iron.  I had a nice time getting her hair into ringlets and not just curled under.


Alex is into Star Wars so he was a Clone guy.  Typically, he didn't want to wear the mask.  M and I took him out tonight....together for the first time ever.  In past years, I've taken the kids to my mom's by myself.  It was nice!  We took him over to the other side of the neighborhood because we heard more people were actually giving out candy--sure enough my street was pitch black when we left.  A only went one block before he wanted to quit because he was tired.  Too funny!  He got a lot of candy for only visiting about 10 houses.

As we finished the night early with him, we took him to McD's for a Happy Meal.  M and I ended up with $2!!!! burritos at Chipotle.  I had purchased a couple of bags of candy because I wasn't sure of our plans this morning.  We only had one Trick or Treater.  It's a good thing I bought Snickers and Milky Ways because they won't go to waste.

Truckin' Along

M bought another truck yesterday.  This one is green.  He didn't spare me the details....  He's still in the middle of working things out with the insurance companies, but he had to do something as he only had under a week of rental car left.  He was finally contacted by the at-fault driver's insurance last week and gave his statement.  Everything has gone through our insurance because he couldn't wait for them to step up.  I'm sure our insurance will try to mitigate.

We've also been dealing with something else.  Ginger, the dog with what we think is diabetes, has gone blind in in her right eye.  We only really noticed it this past week.  She has started running into things and has become hesitant in certain situations, like going down the stairs to go outside.  We need to get her back into the vet.  We got her spade as suggested.  She hasn't put on any weight and now the blindness.  I'm very sad about her and afraid of how M is going to handle her deteriorating health.

Glass Half Full

Why am I the way I am?



Was I born this way?  (nature)

Did experiences shape me into the person I am? (nuture)




Why am I a glass half full person?

I've lost track of how many times people have told me just to be happy.

Why do I focus on the negative?

Instead of saying I got this, this, and this done....I say I didn't get that done.

Instead of being proud about something I've done, I think about things I would have done differently.

Scary!

A student at C's school was hit by a car this afternoon and sustained serious injuries.  The accident was so vicious that C heard the crash while at volleyball practice.  The boy was running with the rest of the school's cross country team.  We don't know all the details, but C heard that the boy was running in the street with some other teammates.  He was hit by the car and rolled up the hood and windshield.  She said she heard that he was conscious at the scene, but that he numerous visible injuries including some exposed bones.

I thought of Z.  He runs for his middle school team.  They run the streets around his school.  I think the coach supervises the runners, but I'm sure the runners don't all stay together and he can't be everywhere at once.  We are going to talk safety with him tomorrow.

The accident didn't make the news.  I hope we hear something tomorrow.  I'm sure the accident will be the talk of the school.

Easy Does It

Sundays!  Ahhhhh....

There are so many reasons to love them in the fall.

It's a gorgeous sunny day in Denver.  A tad unseasonably warm for October, but I am SO not complaining.  The weather would dictate that I be outside taking advantage, but I won't be.

I spent yesterday out running between soccer games, errands, and shopping.  We got an early start for S's game as she had to be there to warm-up at 7:30.  They lost miserably--one of the girls on her team got a yellow card for swearing at the ref....she's 9.  We made our WalMart run and S got some of the stuff for her Halloween, excuse me...Harvest Festival costume--she's going to be a fairy.  A and I ran over there again to look for his, but ended up at Spirit Halloween store to buy his Star Wars Clone guy costume...which I will be returning today because, even though he tried it on, he's decided the mask doesn't fit and he doesn't want it.  hmpf  I missed his game which they lost.  I saw Z's game which was won.  Z got hurt and sat most of the game.  I don't like going to his games because there are a group of parents that are extremely annoying.  They yell and coach from the sidelines....in Spanish mostly.  From what I hear English isn't a problem, but they stray into Spanish...when it's convenient.  The parents of another boy on our team got up and moved at half-time so it's not just me that they annoy.

M is off running errands today.  He's making his Costco run and has a couple of used trucks to look at.  His new used truck was totalled as a result of the accident.  The used car market is really tight right now--thank you Obama and the Cash for Clunkers program--and he's having trouble finding anything in his price range.  He still hasn't gotten the accident report which has to be purchased from Denver County since it wasn't provided at the time of the accident.  Everything has gone through our insurance for now, including M's doctor visit and the rental car.  Based upon the rate, he has about three weeks of rental car so he needs to find something soon.  He ends up getting short with me if I ask any questions so I've not been bringing up the subject much.

I'm at home watching football, doing chores, and sewing.  I don't need to finish the quilt I started last week.  I could have, but when I found out the girl's grandma is a quilter I decided not to finish the quilt for her.  I don't want it to become another UFO so I continue to work on it a little at a time.  It's actually turning out better than I thought it was going to.  I was beginning to not like my fabric and color choices.  I'm using the picture only of a pattern and don't have the benefit of the instructions and I've modified the measurements of the quilt.  I don't have enough some of the fabrics either so I'll be fudging that, too.  I can't quilt without adding excitement to the whole process?!

I've got chicken breasts in the crock pot.  I'll be using the meat to make chicken enchiladas.  I've been hinting outright begging M to get me some Hatch chilis, but he hasn't so I'll be using canned green chilis.  Seems to me since he's the one who requested I make enchiladas that the least he could do is get me the chilis.  I put cream of chicken soup and sour cream on my Costco list.  I'm nothing if not crafty!

You Aren't Seeing Things

I have something on my design wall.  This is a modified version of a quilt that I didn't buy the pattern for....sorry, times are tough.  If I can make a quilt without a pattern, I will.  The quilt is for a birthday on Sunday.  I probably won't get it done and that's okay.  I'm sewing and it can always go to charity.  The fabrics are all from my stash.

I want to shop this new online quilt shop, Marmalade Fabrics.  I love the FQs and shipping prices!

So what's been goin' down since my last post of a week ago?

I gave away the Twilight Quilters Coven T-Shirt Quilt.  I'm making a realistic fabric portrait of RPatz...Edward.  Go there for the details.

M was in an accident last Thursday.  A woman ran a red light and hit his new truck--the one he didn't even have permanent plates on yet.  He got word today that its been totalled.  A big mess all around.  He's okay with minor injuries.  She didn't have proof of insurance and was taken away in an ambulance.  The police report hasn't come in yet.  Everything is going through our insurance for now.  We're praying he will get a payout for the amount he financed on the truck a little over a month ago.

We got into a big fight over the accident.  Stupid, I know.  Just another symptom....

The rest of life is about status quo.

I wish I could go into it all.  I have so many things I need to get off my chest.

Sweatshirt Jacket

I want to make one!  I've always wanted to make one!!

Yeah...

Isn't this so pretty?  Too bad the class is in Florida.

I'm thinking I'll try to make one for S to try it out.  Smaller size, less fabric, easier?   

Too Much to Handle

I have no time to be depressed.  I've decided.  This is not the first time I've moved on from a situation figuring it will just go away, but it's the way I roll.  I started thinking, though.

My mom had a full colonoscopy on Friday.  She got a good report.  It took her the whole weekend to recover and said it was a gawd awful thing to have to go through....  Something to look forward to, I guess.  The good news is that she won't have to have another one for 10 years unless she develops symptoms of a sort that would require another sooner.

We got into a discussion this morning after I asked her about how she was feeling and reviewing the kids' schedules, but she had to go after a spell....just about the time I started to talk about my suicide attempt when I was 16.  We were on the subject because she brought up about how she was worried about my brothers--B, 35 , specifically.  (K, 24, just went on anti-depressants.)  The latest news is that she thinks B's live-in girlfriend has moved out.  I was trying to express my serious concern about his welfare.  He has troubles in just about every area of his life and I think we all should be VERY worried.  I may seem callous, but I've been THERE.  Many people, including my parents, would say it can never be that bad.  It's more than that.  One may feel worse at times than other, but it's not always about degrees.  For me, it's about hope, things to look forward to, and even responsibilities that keep me from doing anything--oh, and my aversion to pain as an overriding factor. 

I was trying to be cautionary with my mom.  I was also trying to discuss our family's propensity towards depression and OCD.  Her answer about my situation and how she didn't realize how in trouble I was was that she had a new baby and was dealing with my grandfather dying of cancer who was living with us.  I get that.  I wasn't asking for an apology.....  I was trying to get her to realize that she shouldn't "ignore" for whatever reason how desperate B might be.  She didn't want to talk or couldn't.

My Mom Strike lasted for all of two days.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I don't know if I got through to anyone or not.  I think M just figured I was having another one of my spells and that it would blow over.  He ignored me and was real jovial with the kids.  I'm in a losing position no matter how you look at it.

I guess I'll have to just get back to business.  I plan on attacking the bathroom this weekend.  It hasn't been cleaned in..............  I'm going to buy a new shower curtain and rod to cover up the exposed brick wall in my shower.  I'm also going to buy a shower curtain set to go where one usually goes.  I'm also going to price front doors, research how to fix screens, and pick out paint.  I know I've said I was going to take charge of home improvements before, but I mean it this time!

On the sewing front:  I sewed a little last night.  I started piecing the Twilight book cover block I made.  I've already discovered one problem area in one of the sections, but I think I can fix it without too trouble.

Morbidly Depressed



C went to her Homecoming stag.....at least that's the story she tells me.

She got ready at someone else's house.

We had to take pictures at someone else's house.

She was out until 1 a.m. even though M told her to be home by 12.

He has nothing much to say.  I have a lot to say, but no one seems to listen.

We're to work out our problems....

She goes about her merry way and I'm sick to my stomach among other things.

I was THIS close today.

Outsmarted

I'm routinely outsmarted by kids....

I dropped Z off at school for his suspension this morning, escorting him inside.

I wanted to know who the kids were that he was having trouble with and be able to recognize them from now on.

He pointed one of the boys out before we went inside.

When I came back out I saw him and two other boys together.  I walked up to them asked if the boy Z had pointed out was xxxxxx, and he said no I'm zzzzzz.  I asked if the other two boys were aaaaaa and xxxxx.  They said they were.

I said Okay....I'm glad I know who you are now.

I got a phone call from the school after I arrived at work saying that the boys reported me for acosting them on school grounds.

I never introduced myself, but they knew who I was.....

I guess you can be a total %#$* to another kid repeatedly, call him a FAG, push another kid, get away with it, AND get the mother in trouble, too.

The meeting tomorrow should be interesting.

Public School, Bullies, Powerless

I am so angry, frustrated, and sad right now.

Z is serving Day #1 of a two day in-school suspension for pushing/punching another kid.

I'm at a loss.

Fixed

You ladies called it.....

The dryer got fixed last night.

M has a total of three shirts to wear to work with the new company because they (he) hasn't been able to make a decision on which ones he wants.

I knew he'd hop to it, looking at the dryer that is, when it came down to him needing something washed.

I waited to wash his shirts until last night so I could include #3.  I was kind enough to wash the load, but stoically told him that there were two loads to be dried ahead of his shirts and since it was taking 2x as long for things to dry, well.........  Oh, and I'm going to bed to read Clockwork Angel since I couldn't get into the football game.  (A really good book by the way so I wasn't really just making excuses.)

It ended up being a loose wire to a fuse or something so he didn't even have to replace a part.  How much easier would it have been for him to just look at it on Sunday?!

Something that isn't fixed is me.  I've been experiencing some numbness in my hands for the past year.  I've had trouble with my hands for almost 20 years and I just deal with it.  I went through the testing for Carpal Tunnel when that syndrome was really in vogue, but I never considered surgery or anything.  I address my issues with occasional Advil, ice, and rest.  My index fingers started going numb and turning white when subjected to cold about a year ago.  I got online to see what it might be and it could be any number of things.  Yesterday, I noticed that my lips and chin felt numb.  I may not even really noticed, but I've been aware of my face the past couple of days because I got sunburned on Saturday and my lips have been chapped.  It's a weird feeling like the one you get when you see the dentist, get anesthetic, and your lips start waking up.  I guess I will be scheduling an appointment soon as we get our insurance straightened out.

Perfect Example

shhhhh....  I had to wait until M left to write this post and for the Internet to be back up at my house.

Get ready!

Today is a perfect example of the difference between M and I, illustrates my frustration, and just makes me want to jump up and down like a two-year old for the second time this week.

My dryer stopped working efficiently yesterday.  It still runs and dries things, but it takes at least twice as long for things to get dry.

There's always more to my story, though.

For instance, M didn't realize there was a problem yesterday while I was gone at Z's game, etc.  C didn't tell him that she used three cycles to get her clothes dry.  (The fact that she was actually doing her laundry at all was a minor miracle.  I had to warn her that she was not to make any plans for the weekend other than laundry since she's been such a party girl slacker for the past two months.)

How did WE come to find out about the problem?  Well, I had to have a freak out about the fact that only one load of laundry got done.

It gets better, of course.....

There was NO way I was going to be out of a dryer for any length of time!  I prodded M last night when I got home to promise that he would FIX it today.  (He promised to LOOK at it, but I was going to be sure sore if it didn't get FIXED.)

I took C out this morning for mother-daughter time at Einsteins.  We've been having issues....  I had also heard that she was having boy troubles from S.  She wanted to shop at Kohl's for her Homecoming dress.  We had a nice morning.  She also got her first pair of high heels--I talked her into them.

When we got home, M was gone.  I was happy because I was SURE he was out getting a part for the dryer.  Turns out he was at Microcenter buying a new wireless router.  *^%$  we NEEDED (he needed to speed up his connection for COMPUTER GAME---I swear because I haven't NOTICED any difference in our speed.)

Great.  Wonderful.  NO problem.  Forget the fact that I just spent $100 dollars on C for dress, etc.  (I couldn't really let on that I had bought a couple of quilt books, now could I?!)  I'll just told him that I hope he saved some money for her mani-pedi and up-do.  He looked back at me with glazed eyes.....

What I'm MOST annoyed at is the fact that he spent from 11:30 until 4:45 trying to get the %$^&*#@ thing to work.  He's now at the park with C for soccer practice.  My dryer NEVER got looked at and so it's still drying slow.

Is it a manner of a difference of priorities.  I should only hope so.  I mustn't be anything else.  I don't SUSPECT at all that he did this on purpose!

To ME, laundry is important....  I guess it's lower on the list of M's priorities.

A Well Oiled Machine

I'm home keyed up from a full day of soccer and a night of drinking and chit chat.  Oh, my!!

As mentioned, all four kids had soccer games.  The day got off to a screechy start, ME, because we had a missing soccer sock and some disastrous rooms.  I escaped earlier than planned to ply myself with iced coffee in hopes of calming my nerves.

Gotta love Rec Soccer...

S's game:  0-2, but not a bad loss.  The girls looked SO much better losing.  A new coach and new attitudes mean good things for this team even if they get off to a slow start.  I wasn't happy with the Ref--a dad from the other team--who was decidedly biased and it showed or the lack of sportsmanship by the other team which said "Good Lose" as they slapped hands with S's team at the end of the game.  S got to play forward and had fun!

C's game: 7-1  I love watching her team play.  They are like a well oiled machine when they are playing well.  Today the team was faster and more aggressive than the other team.  They simply outplayed their opponents.  I only got to see about half of the game because I had to leave it early to get Z to his game.

Z:  0-7.....awful!  Z didn't play much because of his bruised ankle.  His team has a lot of issues including parents coaching from the sidelines in Spanish and too many boys that think they are all World Cup caliber players who don't know that soccer is a TEAM sport.

****All the teams have handouts that discuss parent coaching.  The thing is:  who will a kid listen to?  The coach or a parent he know he has to go home with?!

A:  0-5.  I didn't get to see any of A's game.  A didn't seem to be bothered at all according to M.  A actually almost scored a goal for the other team.  I almost think they shouldn't switch goals at this age.  M says that the only reason the other team kicked so much butt was because they "played more efficiently as a mob of soccer players."  It's the 7-year old age group.

I got too much sun again.  I wore a long sleeved shirt today because the mornings are now chilly this time of year.  I have the dumbest looking sunburn/tan now as a result because I had my shirt sleeves pushed up at an angle.  I now have three-toned arms and my neck V a couple of shades in different shapes.

We stopped at Barnes and Noble on the way home from Z's game.  I offered to buy him a book so he would just read....something.  He ended up with the new Bones book which a glorifed comic book, excuse me...graphic novel, but at least he's reading something!

S was invited to spend the night at her coach's house with her daughter.  I bought pizza for them since they had treated S to lunch.  I ended up staying and having a couple of Mike's Hard Limeades and chatting.  I kept saying I was going to go, but Coach kept talking to me like she didn't mind my chatter so I stayed for over four hours.  It was nice to get out and chat with another woman.  It's always enlightening for many reasons.  You see that you're not alone in your problems, struggles, family issues, etc.  You also hear yourself talk if you listen well enough and can hear how ridiculous some of the stuff you are bitching about really is.....

A Day of Soccer Games: Week 2

All four kids have soccer games this week and to complicate things only one of them is a home game.  C also has a volleyball tournament that she is participating in.  (She will go to the tournament, leave for her soccer game, and then return to the tournament.)

M was trying to plan our attack last night and I was just getting confused.  I finally said just tell me when and where I need to be.

There are plenty of other issues going on around here, but I'm just the mom.

If I had been smart, I would have some little project to work on....but we know I'm not smart.  I don't make the most of my time.  Yeah, I'm here blogging instead of doing so I get it.  I probably wouldn't work much on anything anyway.  I'd be chatting to everyone before the game and then watching the game.

I made a nice list of supplies for applique yesterday, but now I can't find it.  I almost ordered the Perfect Circles online, but I started adding way too much to my shopping cart to make it worthwhile.

I also found the coolest black and pink flame soccer ball fabric to make S a bag that I didn't order.

I did fairly well holding onto my money last payday.  I tried not to buy anything but the essentials instead of blowing my check in two days.  I've not done as well, buying some cheapo athletic shoes and some knit pants at WalMart.  It's my plan to walk around the school where S's soccer practice is held while practicing.  Ha.....  I also had to buy a new hairdryer--they don't make things like they used to as this one was only a year old.  I also bought two new T-shirts--I've about worn out all the ugly grey shirts I wear everday.  I really hate clothes--I just feel fat!  With all this, I talked myself out of the online quilting purchases because I also bought some stuff at Creative Needle.  I've had my eye on Sharon Schamber's Piecelique Curves book to use to make the Eclipse Quilt ribbon.

I got the nicest email last night.  A mom and her daughter entered the T-shirt Quilt Giveaway.  Turns out they've been reading the blog since the summer and like what they see.  It's always nice to hear that!  Thanks to everyone that visits.....  you are the BEST!

I See Applique in My Future

I've railed many a times about my lack of will and skill when it comes to applique.  If truth be told, the reason why I don't do it is because I don't have the patience.  I'm certain that I could become proficient, at least, if I would Just Do It.

I'm ready to try!

I've been tempted into buying supplies by this designer and Queen of Applique, Erin Russek.  I don't remember how I stumpled upon her blog exactly, but I've routinely visited ever since.  I was thrilled to discover that she a Coloradoan, too!  I am going to use her methods to applique--she hasn't reinvented the wheel necessarily since she uses the template and starch method, but her tutorials are great.  I learn best from photos and by doing.  I have purchased Templar template sheets so far.

She will be hosting a free 2011 applique BOM called My Tweets.  The center block is up on her blog.  The Miss Kelly block has to be purchased, but I believe the other blocks in the BOM will be free.  You have a chance to win Miss Kelly, though.

Quilting to Belong

I'm in a hard press of resist mode today.  I'm being tempted by so many projects.  Quiltalongs and other blogging quilt projects.  I find myself wanting to do one, or two, or.....  The projects are nice and the quilts would be fun to make, but they would be more of a distraction than something I really need to make.  They aren't really patterns that I would pick out to make if they weren't part of some online project.

It would be me once more quilting to belong more than any other reason.

It's not like I don't have other projects that I've picked out to make or try to finish,  but I can't seem to motivate myself to get busy.

Motivation is a big factor with my quilting.

And, yes, I have unfulfilled promises out there that should be motivation enough....but they haven't been.

Deadline or......No

How easy it was for me to get out of the habit of quilting.  I've got a couple of projects lined up, but I can't seem to get myself to jump into them.  I did practice some free motion last night, but that's about it.  (The Magic Genie Bobbin Washers do not like the other machine.  I haven't tried them in the Pfaff yet.)  I want to be able to master "writing" on fabric now because I saw the coolest project yesterday at the quilt shop that I want to try.

I'm pondering setting an official deadline for finishing the Eclipse Quilt.  What are deadlines to me?  Deadlines pretty much mean nothing.  I procrastinate up to them and then sometimes ignore them to be late finishing figuring everyone will just accomodate me.

Why bother, then?  Well....I never seem to give up trying on some things.  This project is dangerously close to becoming one of my infamous UFOs.  I've been thinking for weeks about the next block and I can't seem to get my butt in gear.  My latest idea is to try thread painting to make Riley and a few other members of the Newborn Army on the camo fabric I was gifted.  I've been looking through books, magazines, and at tutorials for the past couple of days.

Happy Anniversary

M and I have been married 16 years today.  I asked the day off over a month ago thinking M and I could take the day off together.  M is working today.  I am off.  Par for the course....

I've always been jealous of SAHMs.  I'll admit it!  I could have been a SAHM if I'd have planned better.  Today I feel like a SAHM.  I dropped the kiddos off at school.  I calmly and leisurely went to Einstein bagels and Starbucks for breakfast.  (yay....Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back!!!!)  I went to the grocery store to get dinner next.  BOGO rump roast on sale.  Roast is cooking in the Crockpot right now.  After prepping dinner, I started some laundry and got the dishwasher going after loading it.  Checked the blogs and the 'Net a bit....

I held off as long as I could resisting the GAQF Fall Sale.  I kept telling myself I didn't need anything, other than inspiration, but I gave in and made a trip up there.  I won't say how much I spent, but I got some items I've been wanting.  Machingers, Templar template sheets because I am going to APPLIQUE with help of Erin Russek, and Serendipity Quilts.  (Which, if I'd been thinking, I'd have bought at Amazon or at Connecting Threads to take advantage of free shipping and also buying that fabric I've been lusing after).

I'd been wanting to try Cafe 180.  It's a community kitchen.  (Check this site to see if their is one in your neck of the woods.)  It's been open for about a month, but because it's only open for lunch I've not been able to go.  The food was excellent!!!!!!!!  I had the most amazing pizza and salad--VERY GOURMET--for a $5 donation.  I probably should have paid more.  I totally love the concept and I hope the restaurant survives.  If you're in town, please check it out AND, better yet, invite me to go with....

Off to more SAHM stuff.

It Gets Better

I came home from two soccer practices to find dog poop on the floor and M watching a 10 year + CU/Nebraska football game like it was a live game.  Now I like football as much as the rest of you, but give me a break.  Nothing like trying to relive the glory days by watching CU kick Nebraska's butt old school.  You would have been so proud of me.  I looked the other way, but picked up the mess without bitching.  Fixed our 8:00 p.m dinner without any help.  Loaded the dishwasher in a trance.  Retreated to my room to read a really bad romance, but the sex was good.

I've been trying to find a project to work on.  In making the rounds, I've found some intriguing Quilt-Alongs.  One of them is a quilt-as-you-go project using this tutorial.  I've always wanted to try this technique.  I'm seriously thinking about at this point because I think the project would provide the perfect opportunity for me to practice the free-motion patterns I've been reading at 365 Days......  I also need a no-fuss quilt to take to soccer games.

I've also made some strides.  I officially removed a certain someone's blog off my reading list.  I haven't visited the forum in over a week.  Baby steps.....

On that note, I haven't given up on the Twilight Book Cover pattern.  I want my hands to have more detail than what is possible with the available pattern.  I know it can be done along the same lines as the Silver Linings Original patterns I've been using.  I am so close to figuring this out!  I found some freeware on another blog that I downloaded and have been monkeying around with:  Gimp and PosteRazor.  I've been able to print the hand in a much larger size and have been working to section the printed photo out into a paper piecing pattern.  Wish me luck!

So far I've used my white quilting marking pencil and done some test sectioning.

So What R U Going to Do About IT?

I was fairly whiney last post.  Don't I know it?!  Can't say it's out of my system....but that I doesn't mean I'm not also looking for solutions OTHER THAN RETAIL THERAPY.

I can't do anything about the kids' schedules.  What kind of mom would I be if I didn't let them play sports, etc and made sure they got there?  I can't say that I'm going to get out of helping them with their homework either.

I can't make them any more accountable at home.  Believe me, I'VE TRIED.  I've tried cajoling them, YELLING, crying, BEGGING.  I've even stopped doing things.  NOTHING WORKS  If they want to live in a pig sty, I guess I'm going to just let them.

re:  Work

I've become a bit of a lazy butt, too trusting, and a baby.  When I started this job, it was too good--a little bit of bookkeeping, answering the phones, and paper shuffling.  My responsibilities have evolved tremendously and I'm not much happy about it.  Since quitting is not an option, I guess I'll have to make the best of it, including trying to make some changes that will help me be less stressed out.

Not Even Cool

C thinks she is SO cool....

Oh, to be a teenager again where life consists of boys, fashion, boys, friends, boys, school, boys!

I found this picture on the camera after hunting it down in C's room so I could take some pictures of my own.  I think this pic will probably show up on her FB page if it hasn't already.

I am beyond being cool.  Being cool, looking great, doing what I want to do aren't even in the realm of possibility for me anymore and IT SUCKS!

Now all I look forward to is having an uneventful morning-----NEVER HAPPENS-----a quiet day at work----NEVER HAPPENS-----a peaceful evening-----NEVER HAPPENS.

Yesterday morning it was A who decided he was too tired to go to school.  I had to drag him into the building and beg for help.  (This was the culmunation of a hectic morning that involved yelling--ME--and crying--THEM.)  I was a half hour late to work.  Work was AWFUL!  We ended our evening with more tears after learning that Z has two F's and a D--he's been in school since 8/16.

Today, I had a flat tire.  I picked up a screw at some point yesterday--maybe at one of the two soccer practices I had to be at in addition to getting C from volleyball.  Fortunately, M noticed it before he left for work and changed it for me after dropping Z off early for play practice (yes, we will be discussing activities if his grades don't improve).  He dropped the tire off to be told that it was ruined because of where the screw embedded itself.  Thank God for warranties!  The tire will be replaced with a small pro-rated fee to paid by us.  M was an hour late to work.

Yes, life is what you make of it.  I seem to be making a disaster pie out of mine.

Oh, yeah, that's right.  I'm supposed to be positive about things.  I'm supposed to be able to handle all this crap.  Prayer is not even helping me right now.  I tried drinking last week--one weak margarita and I was toasted and I woke up with a headache the next day.

UGH!

I'm just happy to have survived the day....

The T-Shirt Quilt (My Version of Bella's T-Shirt Quilt)

It's finished!  Instead of starting something new after getting my quilting life back together, I decided to finish the T-shirt quilt.  Read all about it at The Twilight Quilters Coven.  Thank you to everyone that was so supportive and especially Elizabeth that donated the In and Out shirt.

Quilting at Midnight

maybe that's when I'll have to do it?

Quilting: Be All That You Can Be!

I've done more thinking about quilting than the actually doing of it in the past month.  I put myself in a situation getting the T-shirt quilted so I could finish it, but I've let it sit for a couple of weeks because I'm not ready to be daring yet and try that new caterpillar binding.  I'm pretty aggravated with myself.  I've cleaned up my supplies and I feel better for it but even that process has gotten me to reflect on purchases, projects, and who I am as a quilter and my future.

As is my modus operandi, I work myself up into a tizzy and then sit back and take stock of things.

I've done a lot of blog hopping recently and I've seen some amazing work out there and it's made me ask myself,  "Am I the quilter I want to be and COULD be?"

How anyone else chooses to quilt is their business!  I just know that I'm not who I want to be as a quilter.  I want to take better care.  I want to try new techniques.  I want to finish more things--but, I'm not putting myself in a race.

Quilting will never be more than a hobby for me.  I don't have the stamina, patience, or training to have it be more than that.  But, even as a hobby quilter, I know I could be so much more.  It's like when I was talking about the quilting thing.  It's that I don't spend enough time on my projects.  I'm usually in a rush to finish something.

Even though I'm not in a race, I feel like I've been jogging in place for a long time as far as the type of projects I work on.

Compromise

I don't like the concept of compromise too much .  I'm usually the one that gives up the most for one reason or another.  When I do compromise, I'm rarely happy about it....and it always shows....eventually.  I like to get my way.  I like to win....at all costs.  It's the truth of the matter.  One more reason for me to be deemed a  bad person or unlikeable.  I'm like a 40-year old in a 2-year old's body!

We're not out of the woods yet as far as M's job is concerned.  It seems that his previous employer has taken great offense--to the point of wanting to take legal action--that he dare work for a new start-up company in the same industry in the same town.....with some of "their" clients going with.  He is strictly an employee of this new company, but his previous boss did leave and started the new company that he is working for as of tomorrow.  He was "terminated" early from his old company last Thursday after giving notice almost a month ago.  He and his boss received one of those scare the pants off of you letters full of legal mumbo jumbo on Friday.  He says he's not worried......

He bought his truck yesterday.  Used....a great steal of a deal he just couldn't pass up...  I guess I should be happy that he traded in the Beast (the Suburban) in the deal which I had asked about his intentions previously.  It's one of those situations where I knew he was going to do it.  It's his money.  I said my piece, but he was going to do what he wanted to do.  He wanted it and there was not talking him out of it with any of MY sense of reason.  I thought we should wait, but I knew that wasn't going to happen.

On a personal note, I'm trying to focus.  I feel like I'm a little manic right now.  My job is pretty crazy right now.  The kids are SO busy--C is doing school volleyball and Rec soccer; Z signed up for school cross country, the school play, and he's doing Rec soccer; S is doing Rec soccer and school choir; A is doing Rec soccer and Scouts--if the league can find a coach.  No one can do their homework on their own.  I'm struggling with dinner options every night--we had pizza last night and the kids ended up fighting over the Cinnastix.  (I screamed out that we're never ordering them again even if they're FREE...)  I'm once again asking how people MOMS do it?!

I compromised as far as the quilting books is concerned.  I've decided I can leave one tote of books upstairs.  I rescued a couple of totes that weren't suitable to store fabric because they weren't able to be sealed properly since the lids no longer fit well or the tote itself was compromised.  I've still got to go through the ripped up magazines and get them back together--separating all the Twilight stuff out.  I'm so far behind as far as that project is concerned.  I'm trying to feel the love again.  Z really has been on me to finish it, even talking about it last night.  Ho hum....  I got the rest of S's strips ironed and cut so she can continue with her project.  She wanted to sew last night, but I was too wiped out.

I desperately need a ME day where it's just me.  I'd go to the movies and/or lunch.  Shopping.  I don't know!  Something....

Quilting is About Solutions

I'm stumped.

I'm finishing up my cleaning, reorganization, or whatever you want to call it.  Almost everything has found its place again.  I gave away a tiny bit of fabric and some of my books to Goodwill.  I washed fabric that had escaped from totes because I didn't want to put it into a new tote dusty or infested with who knows what....  I went through UFOs and projects I had set aside to refamiliarize myself with them all.

Quilting has always been partly about solutions for me.  I feel like I'm problem solving at many points when I'm doing it.

My books are a problem.  I want them out, but I can't.  I don't have anywhere to put them.  I sew in the living room.  I've taken as much as I can back downstairs only leaving three totes of Twilight stuff upstairs because that is the project I'm working on right now.  I guess I'm going to have to store them again in totes downstairs.  I wish I could have them upstairs on a bookshelf or something.  I hate it when the living room becomes cluttered with totes.

I wanted to finish everything up and I'm very close.  I've got books and ripped up magazine pages all over the living room right now.  I finished the rest of the fabric this morning.  I'm at the point where I'm shuffling stuff around.  I can't buy anything else until Tuesday.

I sewed with S today.  I brought up the spare sewing machine and we got it going.  She needs a guide to line up her seam and this sewing machine isn't as forgiving as mine.  We used a straw on mine the last time, but we used an acrylic ruler on this one.  I'll have to think about it some more to see if I can come up with something better.  The needle on this machine doesn't move which is a problem.  She's made 20 blocks so far.  I had her separate the remaining fabrics into sets for the Rail Fence blocks so I can cut them into the strips and get them ready for her.

I'm eager to get back to sewing myself.  I take advantage of football Sundays to sew without guilt.  I did practice free motion some more on Sarah's machine.  I think I like it better than mine.  I've found the most amazing free motion quilting site and it's been so helpful.  I already had the Magic Slider and so I knew how helpful it could be.  I'm eager to get a quilt done so I can practice some more on something real.

If truth be known, there is a lot of reasons why I don't quilt my own quilts.  I've talked about it.  Perfectionism.  Lack of Confidence.  Not having the right tools.  Laziness!!!!!  How can I spend so much time on making a quilt and not quilt it to the best of my ability?  I can say that I've not ever taken the TIME to quilt something because at this point I just want to get it done.....  This has been a big mistake. 

I've really taken in ALL the tips, tools, and methods at this site.  For the first time, things are making sense.  I am realizing that I will have to take the time to properly prepare my machine and the quilt for quilting.  My success depends on it.

Check it out!  365 Days of Free Motion Quilting Filler Designs