New Moon

I finished the last two letters tonight.  Is it too much of me to be thrilled with my work?  I can't say that I had fun doing these letters, but I feel great having done them.  I'm sure that a better designer would have done a better job.  And, I haven't actually pieced them yet so they could turn out to be utter crap in actual fabric.  On paper they look fine, though....

I'm going to try to piece them this weekend in between soccer games and other responsibilities.  I think I'll need to to get more gold fabric.  (I'm fortunate that the quilt shop is having an overstock sale with 24% savings with cash payment.)  I also need to decide on the size to make them.  I drafted them as 6", but my moons are 6" and I think I want the letters to be smaller.  I also have completely figured out how to accomplish the effect I want so that the letters roll, pull, or flip over the moons to loosely mimic the opening title sequence of the movie.  I'm pretty sure that my idea is impossible and too grandiose even for me....

I may have more time to overthink things, though, as I'm VERY tempted to go to the Mancuso Quilt Show tomorrow.  It will all depend on whether I can be controlled enough to go with money burning a whole in my pocket because there is also a vendor mall.  I already had my treat getting my nails done--it was either that or lose them to growth.

I have also picked out the first Eclipse blocks so I should probably really stay home!  Kismet....  a cool block showed up at one of my favorite sites.  I also went to Goodwill and picked up a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt.  I'm trying to decide on whether or not to use Bubble Jet or not....the quilt artist who had a shop in my neighborhood was decidedly against the solution as she said it is one of the worst products to use because of deterioration, weak colors, etc.  I haven't been able to find much to corroborate her claims online so I'm very torn despite the fact that she is a highly respected fiber atrist. (Heather Thomas)

EQ 7, more and more tempting

Wow!

I can't believe the price....$58.00 for the upgrade if I order before 5/31 since I already own EQ6.  This is too good of a deal to pass up!!

Oh, honey...M, babe....I LOVE U....Mother's Day?!

Electric Quilt

Project Monkey: Drinking of the Kool-Aid

Whether or not you think the phrase "drink the kool-aid" offensive, because of it's roots to the Jonestown murder suicides in 1978, it's a very effective phrase.  My kids would look at me blankly if I used it, buy my generation and older would probably know what I meant.

The term “drink the Kool-Aid” is used to describe blind acceptance of something, whether it be a high stress work environment, an order from a superior, or membership in a particular group.  (Wisegeek)

I'm asking you not to drink the kool-aid..... wherever it may be offered up:  politics, business, friendship, or quilting groups.

People become so overwhelmed by charisma, a personal quality attributed to people who arouse fervent popular devotion and enthusiasm, that they abandon any ability for critical thinking or just plain good sense regarding character and true intentions.

A kool-aid drinker will mindlessly follow his or her leader even if it means doing personal or public harm to self or others. (open.salon)

What is worse when you drink your own kool-aid!

I admit to sipping the stuff, including my own concoction.  Unfortunately, I'm the type that gets sucked in because I'm so desperate for belonging.  It's a good thing I haven't received any invititations to cult meetings lately.

My professional head shrinker was aghast at my latest endeavor and lease on life.  It wasn't what they had in mind when I promised to move on.  There's only so much I can agree to and I agreed to get more exercise and to get involved and I.....have.


It's super awful quality, but I couldn't find anything better.

W is for Waaaah

The Wthat gave me fits.

The sectioning game me trouble.  I had to look for other letters online.  The way I did probably is the least best way.

M is next.

Eclipse Charity Quilt

A group of Twilighters contacted me a couple of weeks ago to make a commissioned Eclipse quilt.  We finalized plans today!  The quilt will be raffled off at their event on behalf of a nationally recognized cancer charity.  (I hope to be able to spill more of the details as soon as I have permission.)

I could hardly keep my mouth shut about the whole thing, but my zipped lips paid off because everything fell into place this afternoon.

Let's just say I was very motivated.....

So in addition to finally finishing the New Moon Quilt, I'll be working around the clock on an Eclipse Quilt.

The Bitchy Stitcher

ROFLMBO.....

One of the greatest realizations in life is realizing that you're not the only one!

The Bitchy Stitcher

You all are just so sweet. I loved all the helpful suggestions for fixing the skirt that I sewed with one panel wrong-side-out, most of which amounted to: Just Leave It and Pretend You Meant To Do It. Unfortunately, these suggestions all ignored or were unaware of the fact that I cannot leave a mistake that big and not suffer some sort of stroke from trying to act like I don't care. No, I ripped out all the stitches, which of course included the basting stitches that held the gathers together, and started over.

My kind of quilter...................

Stop Time to Do What You Love

I read an excerpt from an anticipated book recently.  It had a wonderful line in it that I just loved.  Not a direct quote, but here goes....

Sometimes you have to stop time and do what you love.

I've continued to do some rearranging of the blog. I've got to keep things fresh or at least not so stale....

The only way I will know you are are here is if you leave a comment.  I love comments even if it's just to say, "Hi!"  I'm very open to them.  I certainly don't want people to curse at me or be indelicate, but I welcome open discussion and advice.

I'll be sharing what I am reading because I like to share and I'm always hoping someone will want to discuss.

I'm trying to organize all my photos of quilts from my past so I can make a slideshow or something because I need to be proud of what I have accomplished.

And, yes, I will be digging out all my UFOs so I can record and track them perhaps even in their own slideshow. I've got to start getting things done or giving more stuff away for others to enjoy.

This blog is one of the best parts of my day even if I'm having a down one because I can at least talk and work through some issues.  It's also the center of operations.  I like to put things in my sidebar for my ease to linking to my favorite places.The bottomline is that this blog will always be with me as it's number one reader.  See you in BlogLand!

Savoring

I'm feeling my late night last night, but I had to check in one last time.

I'm falling asleep on the job. M just got home from a 12-hour day. He had to be at work at 6 a.m. for a fire pump test. I love his job, I love his job....I love...that...he's employed! One week down. One week to go of on call madness.

I took pity on him and brought him home some pralines and cream ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Tonight was $.31 scoop night and we took advantage. S and A ended up with double scoop stomach aches. Our location was packed, but properly staffed so we had our ice cream in no time. We all savored our treat.

I'm reading a new book called Incarceron. (Please see side bar for link as I'm too lazy right now to link in this post.) I like it! The story is very original one. I'm not a good reader--I read too fast and miss a lot of details because I'm always in a hurry to finish a book. I got about a third of the way into the book, read some reviews, and decided to start over and take my time so I could pay attention to all the details. I think I already have some things figured out about the mysteries of the book, but I'm still enjoying it a lot.

I made my first run on the New Moon e this afternoon and this evening when I got home from ice cream.  I'm ready to leave it as is....I think.

The only trouble with all this computer quilting isn't that I haven't been sewing and I need to!

(no MediaFire this time)

Too Much to Say.....

I fear I have too much to say for this blog.  LOL

I'm a little out of it today because I was up SO late last night.  I was in one of those moods to work.  I was warm so I wasn't distracted.  I had a project that I had to finish....  I wasn't going to let that pesky N beat me!  M was sawing logs big time so I had another reason to stay up.  And, I need to catch the replay of L&O Criminal Intent that the kids, dh, and dogs talked/barked through the first time.

A few updates:

S and BFF made up.  Of course they did.....  I probably almost messed it up with all my worrying and chatting.  They came out of their student council meeting arm and arm according to my dad.  They were best buds at soccer practice.  S snagged an invitation to BFF's poetry reading tomorrow night.  So, apparently ALL is well.

We've got two more birthdays this weekend.  C will be 14 and A is turning 7.  We don't have any big plans.  It's another soccer weekend.  A wants to see Iron Man 2 so he'll have to wait for that.  He wants a Cars cake that he saw at Target for some reason?!  I'm sure we'll BBQ or something to celebrate.

C exchanged her idea of having a hotel slumber party with friends for an IPod Touch long ago.  I must have been high as a loon or needy when I agreed to buy it for her.  The price tag alone is sending me into fits that and the fact she dropped her phone into the dogs' water last week makes me cringe.  (The phone survived for a week after that, but now she's had to trade it in for her dad's old phone because hers stopped working from the water damage or excessive texting.  Either he didn't insure it or even if he had dropping it in water would have made it unreplaceable.  I wouldn't know...)  We will definitely load up on the most extensive warranty we can buy.  Teenagers and their electronics.  She went into a fit last night when I suggested may be she wanted a new phone instead of the Touch.  (She's generally a great kid so I excused her crying fit, etc that she had to this suggestion as related to PMS, teenagerish behavior, and/or my crazy genes.)  According to her in her moment of temporary insanity, we should replace her phone and buy her the Touch for her birthday.

$300.00 =

30yds of  fabric for me

Trip to Houston for me

New bed for Shannon and M's room

I'm not making my case......  LOL

HOW ABOUT:

Summer reading classes for A (yes, the exact price--we called)

1 new bed and mattress for the girls room

nice addition to her savings

OR a charitable donation like this altruistic child



I KNOW, I KNOW not as much fun

Give Me an N

I'm glad I didn't give up on this!

I kept at my N and I think I did it.....

I typed an n in Word and then copied it to the clipboard.  I pasted it into Paint, made it red, and then saved it as a .bmp file (format EQ5 accepts).  I cropped as much of the background out as I could. I used the EQ5 Easy Draw application.  6" block.  Imported the n, centered it and adjusted so it fit the 6" square.  I sectioned the block out and then went at it to get the shape of the letter, including as much of the curves as I could considering it's a paper pieced pattern.

This is what I ended up with....MUCH better than my first attempt in my opinion.  This is the colored version. (batik fabrics from the fabric library)

The drawing or pattern.  I let EQ5 group the sections, but I renumbered them.

There is a free program available called Cute PDF that I downloaded onto my laptop.  I used it to convert the pattern to a .pdf file.  (really cool little program that hooks up to "print" in EQ5, but really just saves the file to your computer as a .pdf.)

I uploaded the file to Mediafire as a stored file.

Now to sew it.....I'm my own pattern tester.

I'm eager to try an e.  It's going to be TOUGH!!!!

Bella.....Swan

I hesitate to share because all my good ideas are lifted without credit by those I really don't want to share with anymore, but I can't resist sharing this because it's so pretty and I like to share more than I need to fuss at this point.  Besides, I'm beyond all that now (I am, I am, I am....)  Also, since my initial sharing of Silver Linings Originals, the patterns have been touted by the group even if few have been brave enough to use them so they probably now about this one, too.  Besides all that the fact that is no one visits anymore anyway.

Before I die, I will make my own Twilight quilt.  It has always been my plan to make a block to represent every main character.  There are any number of ideas for Bella.  I have a charm bracelet of Twilight charms.  I have a bookworm on it for Bella and I also have a......swan.

I found an applique pattern for a swan, but this swan pattern showed up in my Inbox tonight.

Absolutely beautiful!!!!!

Silver Linings Originals

I always think of swans because of Bella's name and because swans mate for life (even if it's not for romantic reasons....LOL)

Girls Will Be Girls

This momma bear needs to be caged.

When I got home yesterday I could tell my Sarah Beara was down in the dumps.  She had been sick since last Thursday and Monday was her first day back.  (They were off Friday.)  I thought she might be still not feeling well or had a lot of homework.  After some patience on both our parts, I got the story out of her.

Her BFF and her had a tiff and S was feeling the sting.

If I believe everything she told me (and I do to a point....with two girls and even with the boys, I've become a master at reading between the lines), she dared talk and play with the wrong person.  Now her BFF has said that they should take a break from each other (according to her mother) and see other people.  S is heartbroken.

I texted the mom and then phoned yesterday afternoon.  (Side note:  we've also become friendlier of late.  It's hard not to with the girls spending so much time together.  We also both like Twilight.  Her son is the same age as C.  We actually talked with each other for over an hour and a half at soccer practice.  We both shared more personal info than we ever had before.)  I got "their" side of the story.

It's all rather involved.  The back story is that this girl that S talked to has been mean to S's BFF in the past.  I think there is more to the story.  Who knows?!   I suggested we let things play out.  No matter how much I want to interfer, I know it's best to let them resolve it on their own.  (I'm so tempted to, though...Mama Bear, remember?  And, I went through something similar with C in second grade that was so difficult--C was a basket case that year and even started losing her hair from all the upset.)

The girls usually meet up in the morning.  I asked S how she wanted to handle things.  She didn't know.  I suggested that she act like nothing had happened and act like normal because if she didn't the BFF might think that S was mad at HER.  We walked over together to the girl's car and she got out, but the mom stayed inside.  I had A with me so we walked up ahead.  The girls didn't even talk to each other.  When we got to their line, BFF walked away from S without a word and met up with another girl.

The mom had stayed in her car so I went up to chat.  I told her what happened.  She said she would talk to her daughter.  She seemed unsympathetic, but not rude to me or anything.  She said she hoped they made up and perhaps it would happen today or after school at their student council meeting. I vow to be patient.......

Any advice is welcome!!!

On a Music Bender

On a music bender today...Shuffling...through my IPod.  The device freaks me out because it seems to know my mood and picks out just the right songs for me.  I'm one of those who actually listens to lyrics and looks for meaning in every song as it applies to my life.  LOL

Inspired

By Friendship:

Elizabeth

Shannon

Dianne

By Motivation:

PatchworkTimes

Sandie

By Laughter:

Rants from MommyLand

By Beauty:

Quilts with Love


I don't know what to call it.... (edited 5:45 p.m.)
By Morbid Curiosity

E

EQ7

But, wait.....EQ7?  I barely got EQ6 loaded on my computer and have hardly played with it all.  Darn it!  Darn it!  Darn it!!!!!!  I heard about it at PatchworkTimes.  Judy has a special offer.  The new version is very tempting.  It sounds like it has a lot of new and exciting quilting and photography applications for instance!

I should take a class.  I'm really not into designing quilts, though, because I find it so overwhelming.  Why do I really want to learn it?  I hardly have enough time to do what I do now.

What I really want to happen is to have my dad learn it.  LOL...  He is VERY artistic.  I'd like to go into business with him, but he has shown no interest.  We could be an awesome design team.  He helps me in a pinch with some things that require drawing and photo editing, but that's all.  He's retired now and I think he has time on his hands that I could help him fill.  hahahahahahaha  He has other ideas.

Oh, well!

A Paper Pieced World

Don't freak out and think you came to the wrong blog!  I'm actually writing about quilting in this post.....

And, word has it that I have no room to talk about M and him not finishing things as I'm long list of quilt UFOs is longer than my arm.  Don't I know it!

I'm nothing if not stubborn.  Stubborn is as stubborn does. Stubborn is especially stubborn when I'm trying to avoid doing something else.  I'm actually surprised that I'm being stubborn over this since I give up on so many other things.

Okay!

Why do I insist on this unnatural attachment to paper piecing everything?  It's not that I can't applique.  I'm not that crazy about hand applique:  needle turn or any of the other methods.  I could master the technique if I put in the time to practice.  I'm fairly skilled at machine whether it be blanket stitch or raw edge fused. Applique is simply put not a method I enjoy.

According to Cynthia England any picture can be made into a paper piecing pattern.  I have her book that shows how to do it, but I have yet to be successful.  I have watched tutorials on You Tube.  I have begged for assistance from my dad.  To be blunt, my brain just doesn't work in the right way for me to be able to do square up images and divide them logically into sections.

Recognizing this hasn't stopped me from trying....Hello..... STUBBORN, remember?!

My latest tortured attempt is to convert the Times New Roman font (only certain letters for now) into paper piecing patterns using EQ5 (After initially attempting to do it on paper and then EQ6, I went back to EQ5 which is still on my dinosaur of a laptop.  EQ6 has too many new tools and functions that make me twitchy.  I'm going to place the drawing book on order when I have some spare change, but until then I'm using what I know better even if minimally.)

This is what I finally came up with.  I used way to much border and so the sections are goofy.  I need to try again.

The Wall

I promised pictures of The Wall.  M picked up some more wall stuff yesterday at the the store.  Is he going to do all the walls?  He hasn't told me and I haven't asked.  I would assume so.  Is he going to do all the walls in the house?  I just hope he finishes our bedroom.

How far will it go?  One wall?  Two?

The wall.

I need to do something about the couch.  The dogs have destroyed the arm.  We area now down to the foam.  The cushion next to this arm is down to the foam cushion, too.

This is Ginger.  She only jumped the fence three times today.  I laugh because she used to not come to me.  I have her trained with cheese now.  She won't come to M now because he is stern with her when she does.  I made him give her cheese after I got her to come back today.  He called for her and she wouldn't come to him so he went back inside and I tried.  She came to me.  In reality, I think she's trained us.

A Battle I Don't Want to Fight

I've talked about our church battles before.  The battle continues.  We aren't going again today.  I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this than it really is because of my issues.  M, nor the kids, have such issues so it is easy for them to blow off our commitment and put in an appearance whenever the mood strikes.

We became members last fall after I completed my classes.  The kids and I were baptized.  We are also tithed , not 10%, but what we could realistically afford.  C is going on a youth group trip to New Orleans for a conference this summer for which the congregation has donated generously to in several funraising initiatives this past year.  Both C and Z are in the middle of Confirmation classes.

M doesn't see the need to go every week even when we don't have a conflict like soccer games.  The kids twitch and moan about going to church and class.  They make the hour plus of church an experience that I dread.  C and Z see they service as acolytes as another dreaded chore that they don't want to do.  They don't like to go to any of the other functions or events either.  

There are any number of levels to our need to attend church.  I have put forth all of them, but I have not won any of the arguments and I'm ready to give in.  I'm not saying that I won't continue to attend, but I'm done trying to force my family (especially when I don't have the support of my husband) to attend church.  I'm tired of arguing....

That's Just Sick

Sick with the flu.....

M is on call for the next two weeks.

Let the party start!

and, NO, I do NOT get a pass AND Avatar

With all this talk of being ill and all, I want to stress most definitively that I don't think I get a pass on my behavior.  In fact, I think I have to be more vigilent.  If you know you have a problem and have acknowledged it, then you need to do everything you can to stay in control.  You really should have NO excuses, right, well......I wouldn't go that far--hahahahahahaha

I'm reminded of a radio commerical for Dr. Laura that I hear regularly.  She must be speaking to a caller about depression or something and says in a very falsetto voice,  "I can't do the laundry because I'm very sad..."  And then in her voice says something like, "Boy, she really knows how to work the system."

I can't wait to post a picture of my bedroom wall.  I've been complaining that I can't get M to help me with the home improvements I want to make.  I said I'd be willing to do just about anything to get him going.  Well........  Last night, of all things for him to start working on, he started to "plaster" the ENTIRE wall with some type of repair putty.  I'm not sure how I feel about this because, most of all, it could very well turn into one of those projects he starts and never finishes.  Before one judges me as being pessimistic, I've lived with the man for almost 18 years and I've not had a shower wall for 12.

We've never liked the textured walls that are in every room of our house.  I don't like them because they collect dust.  M doesn't like them because he says they look poorly done.

I walked in on him starting this job and was stunned.  He didn't say he was going to do it or consult me first.  He got about 1/3 of a wall done.  Please note that it's not just a matter of putting this putty on the wall.  I guess it will have to be sanded down, too.  He must have been a mind reader and not in a good way because I had just decided to get paint next payday and start painting......

More marital silliness:

M calls me from Walmart last night.  He asked if I needed anything.  I tried really hard to think of something really good because he hardly ever offers.  The best I could do was to ask him to get me some chocolate (sometimes it's the best medicine).  I figured he was there buying Avatar, but I didn't let on.  When he got home he didn't have the movie--only a bunch of heartburn medicine and our candy (our medical Flex card expires at the end of the month so he was using the rest of the money in the account so we don't lose it).  I waited patiently for him to discuss Avatar and why he didn't buy it (which I could care less about because, even though I know it's a movie magic miracle of special effects, I don't like to instructed into political correctness and beat over the head with a political message by a movie) so I could get my fill of laughing at the absurdity of my shopper challenged husband.  (Hey, all in good fun!)  Sure enough he couldn't find Avatar to buy at our Walmart because they must have not been selling it or they sold out.

Pause, as I'm still laughing.....

S:  Remember, M, we are in the bad part of town and they lock everything up.

M:  Well, I didn't see any copies anywhere

S:  Did you go back to Electronics and ask anyone?

M:  Well, you know you can never find anyone to help you

S:  (silence)

M:  Well, I don't think they had it

S:  (silence)  Everyone is selling it, including the grocery store!  I saw it there tonight.  Our store isn't like my mom's where they have pallets of movies out in plain view.  The people in my mom's neighborhood would be very offended if movies were locked up, but our's is different.  I'm sure if you had gone back to Electronics and asked for a copy, they had some.

M:  (annoyed look saying You think you know everything and silence)

S:  (dropping subject)  Dinner in 15


He ended up taking C to Walmart after dinner.  She had asked him to buy elastic hair bands--that's a good one--and he bought ponytail elastics.  Guess what he found?  Avatar in Electronics on the shelf in it's theftproof display.

I got as far as the initial discussion of "Unobtanium" before LMBO and going to bed.

Project Monkey: You Mean I'm Ill?

This post has a lot to do with an email from beliefnet.com that I got yesterday.  I've become a quick fan of Therese J. Borchard.

Being a person with some type of mental health malaise has become my identity and how I am seen by those around me.  (Actually since I've been having an episode  for the past six months, I've been reminded that it's been my not-so-secret identity all my life.)  That being said, I've never labeled myself as a person with a depression illness or acknowledged that I have an illness.  I've said I have mood swings, the blues, a chronic personality Bitch disorder, that I'm depressed today, etc.

Most of the people around me make me feel like I have some control over my depression.  Heck, even I think I should be able to control it.....  I'm not being paranoid about this.  I know it's true!  M has let it be known from early on just as much.  I don't think he's changed his mind at all over the years, but now he deals with me differently.  When I'm in one of my moods, he says as much and excuses me until I snap out of it.  I think my mom is the only one that gets me because I'm pretty sure she deals with the same issues.

I have people tell me you're the unhappiest person I know.  Can't you try to be happy?  Why are you this way?  What do you have to be unhappy about?  You complain about everything and everyone.  blah, blah, blah

I've felt a little better about life lately. I get most down when I feel like I'm alone, that I'm horrible person because of the way I feel or the things I do, and that I should be able to control my depression.

I'm not happy about acknowledging my depression as an illness and an incurable one at that.  I think you can manage it and take steps to try to head episodes off at the pass, but I'm learning that you're never really cured.  I would love it if it was a switch I could turn off.

My goal has always been to learn ways to deal with the way I feel, to learn how to cope, and to put myself in the best position so as to not to become ruled by it.  To learn that I will always have to be mindful of that which I suffer so that I can avoid getting into situations that destabilize the tenuous balance I've been able to achieve.

This is one of the hardest parts because it takes a lot of work and requires certain recognitions.  It will require me to say No to myself and others, also.  I don't have to be defined by my illness, but I need to be very mindful of it with everything I do.

From the beliefnet.com article:

I suppose it's an exercise in saying the Serenity Prayer: trying to identify the things I can't change, the things I can, and asking God for a little assistance in telling them apart. In her book, "The Wisdom to Know the Difference," Eileen Flanagan writes about how we can better live the Serenity Prayer ... or navigate more gracefully through the thorny territory between our diagnoses and our opportunities. Much of it, she says, comes from accepting ourselves: with our cotton mouths and extra pounds, with our hypersensitivity to noise and stimulation, with our low threshold for stress. She writes:

Accepting life's flat tires seems to be easier for people who have accepted themselves. If you know who you are, what you are capable of, and what you are called to do, you are much less likely to waste your time and energy sweating the small stuff or even the big stuff you cannot change. You are less likely to project your uncomfortable feelings onto other people, instead of facing your feelings and learning what they have to teach you. You are less likely to waste time trying to change other people and more likely to influence them with a positive example.

I'd like to think she's right ... that the more we accept ourselves with our limitations, the more freedom we feel in living as individuals, not merely as bipolars, diabetics, or cancer victims, and the better we can distinguish the things that we can't change from the things that we can.

This may or may not have made a difference in what happened six months ago with TQC.  I'll never really be able to test it because I can't go back.

Missing Keys

M has been searching for a set of keys for a couple of weeks. There is some question as to who had them last. He insists that C used them to get into my car for something and didn't give them back. She says no. He's even asked me a couple of times if I've seen them....really, do you have them?....NOPE!

Don't tell anyone, but his Suburban starts without the key. So, he doesn't really need the keys unless, as I'm guessing, there is some type of important work key on there or something to explain his frenzy to find them.

C has lost her house key. Both older kids have keys to the house and they are needed to be carried daily now since my parents bring them home and let themselves into the house. (My parents have a key, too, just in case.) Z misplaced his last week, too, but he found his. Small miracle, too.... What is so hard about using the key and then putting it immediately back into the backpack?

The point to all this lost key talk is this? I would see the lost keys as an opportunity to clean and get organized while looking for them. C had a texting war of words with her dad yesterday starting out with her request for a replacement key. (She had gotten locked out of the house when M and I were both gone.) M came home to look for her key himself in her room. Uh, oh. He wasn't happy with all the junk underneath her bed--the pot calling the kettle black. I came upon him looking for his keys again later that afternoon. Instead of him just finally putting away all the crap next to his bed while looking for his key, he looked through it and then put it all back on the floor!!!! I asked him why he didn't just put stuff away? I asked him if he didn't know what to do with the stuff?!!! I've been waiting for him to do something with it all, but my patience has run out. He said to me that he would "deal with it later, but for now he was just looking for his keys."

I'm not perfect. I let stuff pile up. OMG, though..... There comes a time when you have to get things done. I've given him months to deal with his stuff and it still sits. I've begged, cajoled, and nagged for him to go through stuff and find a place for it all.

I am so torn about this and other things. If I put stuff away, he's going to be mad at me. If I continue to bug him about doing stuff around the house, he's going to be mad at me. If I let things sit, I'm going to unhappy and mad.

I think a lot about this and other things as one might guess since I write about it constantly.

Part of our problem is that this has always been our problem. It' why NOTHING ever gets done. We can never agree on anything from paint colors to furniture placement. He's way too involved in stuff like this. Gulp... He also doesn't like to be bossed by me.

I admit to having this philosophy: I think of the house as my domain. I think I should be able to have things the way I want them. Leave the decorating to me, as one might say. I also think everything should be picked up and have a place. (This doesn't mean that I expect a spotless house. Far from it!!!!) Most of my friends and people I read about have this type of situation. I want M to butt out and just do the improvements as I want and need.

Shocked?!

At this point, though, I'd probably be willing to go along with any decisions he would make as long as he would make them and stuff would be put away. Black walls? No problem? Mirror on the ceiling, why not?! Pool table instead of a dining room table? Sounds wonderful! Just get it done.....

Design Isn't My Thing

Strange day today.

M ended up taking Z out for his b'day lunch and movie. (M wrangled his way into doing the job when he found out that the reason Z wanted me to take them was because he thinks M rags on him too much. I think Z was afraid that M would embarass him in front of his friends. M took offense, but I guess they worked it out because the next thing I knew M was taking him?!) Only one of his friends ended up going. Ian is Z's friend from my mom's neighborhood. He's a nice kid and he's never been in any trouble. M doesn't totally approve because Ian is almost 16 and Z is just 12 tomorrow. Ian is really nice to Z, though, and I am so thankful that he didn't bail on Z today. They have hung out together for years since the kids spent all that time growing up at my mom's. They don't get together much anymore since the kids don't go to my mom's much these days. Z hasn't been able to make friends this year.

S assumed that because I wouldn't be taking Z that I was going to take her and her friend about town today. I wasn't prepared to do that and she had a fit. I got pretty annoyed with her, but ended up taking her and A out to Target so she could shop for some b'day gifts for her. She ended up with a new jean skirt and shirt, some stuff from the $1 bins, and some play food. I would have taken them to lunch, but she wanted cinnamon rolls from Target?! Her friend's mom texted while we were out so she ended up there for the afternoon.

I spent the afternoon doing laundry and sewing some in between some other chores. I was supposed to make Z's lemon cake, but I didn't have my mom's recipe since she forgot to bring the cake mix and the recipe when she dropped the kids home on Friday. M got it when he was with the boys this afternoon. I went to make the cake tonight, but I don't have all the ingredients. Dumb!

The kids want to take donuts for school treats tomorrow. More expensive than making cupcakes, but probably just as well for me to do this instead of making five dozen cupcakes. I can't believe Z wants to take some, too, but he said other kids have into his advisory/homeroom class.

Back to quilting..... I've never been good at designing anything. I usually use a pattern, book, or magazine to make my quilts because I can't design to save my life! I continue to struggle with the New Moon Quilt because I can't figure out how to set the blocks...that I've hardly made. I sewed the moon blocks together tonight. I know in my mind what I want to do, but I can't think of the best way to accomplish the idea. It's times like this when I wish I DID belong to a group at least to get some advice. I've tried doodling my ideas, but I am no artist! The other thing is I am so frustrated trying to paper piece my letters. I think I am going to have to applique.

On another note, I worked on more bubbles today. I am so proud of myself. I'm taking it slow and piecing the blocks very methodically so as not to waste fabric. I was frustrated on Saturday for awhile because the tension on my machine hasn't been spot on for awhile. I've been overlooking the fact that it's not been right through a couple of projects, but enough was enough. I fiddled and fiddled with it today. It's not perfect, but it's way better.

I guess there are SOME things I can live with.

The Girls vs. The Boys

My girls will probably grow up not wanting to get married or have any kids as much as they listen to me rant about the difficulties associated with marriage and motherhood. It's not all my fault, though. It's hard for them to miss how their dad and brothers behave on a regular basis without any help from me. C has just about had with her dad's refusal to help her with her room.

S is such a sweetie! She asked me tonight if she could clean at the closet. Of course!!!! She doesn't look too happy in this picture, but she really did volunteer.



C helped me with laundry today by doing her own. She's at a b'day party for one of her friends. I hope she is having fun!!

I refuse to talk about the boys, but you can guess.....

S's team won their soccer game. Yay!! The team played well, was aggressive, and S almost scored. I almost didn't mind the rain storm in the second half that made got me wet and off to Starbucks for a warm drink to warm up after the game. Yeah, any excuse! C's game was on the other side of town and conflicted with S's so M took her. They lost. Boo...

I finally took Brenda's suggestion and got a flannel backed table cloth to make a design wall. How's this for a nice invitiation to quilt something? It only cost me $3 at Walmart.



Oh, my? Is she actually working on something?! A couple of somethings....



I was bad and bought more fabric when I should have just used my stash. I had to have some Fairy Frost for my bubbles, though! Really!! The blue jumped off the shelf, but I decided to use a blue out of my stash instead. More soon....

Warning: Have Fun or ELSE!

I've been warned by a professional to have some fun or else.....

How in the heck am I supposed to do that?!

I've also been warned that having fun doesn't mean spending money....

I'm also supposed to stop worrying so much about my kids, this house, my parents' health, and everything else. I'm supposed to take a vacation from worrying.

Ha!

I'm up at midnight because M got into bed first. I ordered him to go to bed because he fell asleep and was snoring. I forced him to get up as quickly as I could so he didn't get into the sleep of the dead where I can't wake him up and I'm forced to go to bed instead to get away from the noise.

I cleaned up my sewing table and filled up another tote. I told M that his quilt may be the last one I ever finish. He told me to stop being so melodramatic. I agreed with him. I'm always the drama queen.

We've got two soccer games tomorrow. A is bummered big time that this is his bye week. Sunday is the Z's day for b'day fun. I've still got to work that one out as S thought I was taking her and her friend out that day. Maybe if I write about it here I won't "worry" about keeping two kids happy that share the same birthday, but don't really want to share me.

Open Invitation

I have found another Twilight group to hang out at. For adults and fantas-tical chit chat allowed, including shirtless photos and open discussion of the books and movies. No more Rated G crap and cloying religious undertones. Yesterday one of the things discussed was Edward's commando status in Breaking Dawn. While I didn't partake in much of this convo, I didn't shy away from reading the posts nor was I put-off by such discussion.

NO QUILT TALK, I promise!!!! They don't even know that I do....hahahahahaha

I have another quilting friend that lives in Houston. We stay in touch mostly just on FB now. I met here while participating in the swap group I discussed in yesterday's post and she was the one who I went to the Arkansas retreats with (I actually flew down to Houston and then drove up to Arkansas with her so I wouldn't have to fly into Arkansas by myself, do the rental car thing, etc.). She's always been wonderfully supportive and hasn't kicked me to the curb over anything I've ever done or said. I'm sorry to say that I've drifted away the past couple of years. We still drop each other an occasional email, too.

I've always had an open invitation to visit, but never taken her up on it. I got involved with Twilight in 2008 and took a couple of trips that year in support of my fan-aticism so I haven't gone. She has a quilting group that she put together that meets on the third Saturday of the month to sew. She's always said I should come down on a Thursday or Friday, go to the sew-in, and fly home whenever.

I'm seriously considering inviting myself down real soon. I think it would be good for me! I'm going to suggest this fall.....

Am I Actually a Quilter?

hmmm...... When are you actually considered a quilter? Do you have to have completed a certain amount of quilts?

I've got a ton of fabric. I've started a lot of projects, but not finished many considering I have considered myself a quilter for over 10 years. I have a library of books. I have a bunch of tools.

Am I really a quilter?

Room to Breathe

Do you ever wonder how much life would be better if we all had more room to breathe, to not be perfect, to be accepted for who we are..............?

If I didn't feel like I was such a mommy-wife-friend-daughter-----anti_christ type of person and to be made to feel like I am, I know I'd be better off and higher functioning!!

I need to feel the love more on my bad days then my best days.

If you are going to screw me over, then at least buy me something or do a chore to distract me.

Quilt Diva Terrorist Extraordinaire

Warning: this post is all over the place, but it does have a destination and a point.....

Do you know the feeling when you really want to do something, but for one reason or another you can't get 'er done?

1) You don't have the skills or knowledge

2) You don't have the patience

3) You don't have the time

4) You don't play well with others

I'm probably overconfident, but there's not much with quilting that I don't think I could learn eventually if I put my mind to it and.....if I really had the patience and time to learn it. I am, after all, self taught. I've never taken a skills class. I've learned everything through a lot of trial and error using books, television, online tutorial, and such as my references. (This is just me. I know people swear by classes. I've even taken a couple, but I've never felt I got my money's worth. I'm also too self-conscious.)

I've been dabbling in the quilting world for 12 years. I made my first quilt for C in celebration of being a big girl and moving to her new toddler bed when she was barely two years old. (Her brother had just been born and we needed her crib or I would have probably not moved her so soon.) The quilt was a Rail Fence quilt made from fabrics that I was to use for the homeade crib set that I was supposed to make for her before she was born. (Sound familiar to anyone else's story--the delaying getting something done part?) I used a Quilt in a Day book.

The Quilt in a Day T.V. show was how I got turned onto to quilting. I find Eleanor Burns a little annoying to this day, but she's certainly a treasure to the quilting world. One of my LQS is a sponsor of the quilt shows on PBS. I shopped there first, but it wasn't long before I found Great American Quilt Factory. I fell in love. (GAQF is celebrating their 29th Anniversary!) The cool thing is that they know me there and always greet me by name when I walk in--it's like Cheers. They also used to publish and I think I have almost all of their books. My other favorite store now, and I make it a point to shop there more and more because of their frequent shopper program, is Holly's Quilt Cabin. They willingly and happily will cut a FQ of any fabric and offer $25 g/c for every $250.00 one spends (regular exclusions apply).

I quickly got into Internet Quilting that first year or so. I'd never used the 'Net much before I started to work for the dentist in October 2008. I learned fast, though! I was soon ordering fabric online, joining Yahoo Groups for swaps, and retreating with people I'd met online in Arkansas. I had a passion for quilting!

I became consumed with swapping. I loved to buy fabric. I liked chatting online. I liked showing and sharing my quilting prowess in the groups. I was a DIVA even then and a show-off. (That's not to say that my blocks were spectacular as far as technique--most were simple and uninspired--but they were well pieced, the proper size, etc.) I rarely used the blocks I got back as you can well imagine. I wasn't a good swapper in the true sense--I was a notorious procrastinator, a few times I didn't meet deadlines, I spent oodles of money on expedited shipping, and I rarely completed any projects with the blocks I received. I know I missed the point of friendship and the swapping purpose even then. The groups had many level of quilters that participated. Most of the experienced and expert quilters were totally able to use the blocks they received because they understood what Swapping and Quilt Fellowship was all about.

I stopped swapping and focused on my quilting after a run-in at my main group. Ha--you're not surprised?! I remember the project well. Participants sent a group of blocks from a U.F.O. for someone else to finish. I procrastinated and missed a deadline. I fell out of touch. The person hated how I finished her blocks. I didn't appreciate how she finished my blocks. A war of words ensued. I left the group!

I was on my own in the quilting world for a number of years before the Twilight saga/disruption/addiction/ entered my life. No need to rehash. Not so stunningly, what happened there has a lot of similarities to my above mentioned issues. I never learn or change.

I certainly have an inflated opinion about my quilting, don't I? One would think I was a master? I'm pretty horrible! In a perfect world, because I know all this, I would change. The safer thing for me to do is to not participate in group projects and to just do my own thing. I don't look down my nose at everyone. Don't believe me? I don't! I'm fine with everyone's skill set if you are fine with it. The disconnect comes and the conflict is the group project.

I still have a lot of things I'd like to accomplish. I'm finding it so difficult to recognize that I may never be that person because of time, personality, and brain function. It's not enough for me to think and say I want to learn how to draft paper piecing patterns or machine quilt. I may not be able to.

I may not be able to do a lot of things.

Voluntarily Bringing Bugs Into My House

Tonight was S and A's Big Night at school. All the grades had their school projects featured throughout the school. The 1st Graders have been working on the life cycle of meal worms. We got to bring three meal worms home tonight after the show and I got to put potato in the baggie to feed them. Okay, I guess, since A is excited about his project and very knowledgeable. The 3rd Graders have been studying Native Americans. She made a diorama depicting Navajo women and their roles, including a joint report with her classmate. I stayed away from the project and was very proud of....myself...for not interfering.

I sit here tonight and stew a little. M missed Big Night without a word. He didn't get home tonight until after 8 without a word. I know he didn't call and ignored my calls because he knew I would be annoyed. Better to avoid me, enjoy himself, and not face my ire until he got home. He was at Happy Hour with some co-workers at a send off for another co-worker. Whatever!

The kids were disappointed he didn't attend Big Night!!

The only thing that is making me happy right now is that tomorrow is payday. I am SO glad!! I've been out of money since last weekend. Most of it will go to the S and Z's birthdays this weekend, but I plan to spend some of it on some good food. I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches, frozen burritos, and frozen pizza all week. I am so thankful that my sis replenished my supply of Via. I've at least had my coffee this week.

Another blast from the past.....

The Quilted Word by Frecklesquilts

Who Am I Really?

I feel introverted and shy a lot of the time. I usually only put myself out there out of desperation. This is the way I see myself. However, I've had more than one person comment that I am SO not this way. What is up with that?

There's more: follow the link above.

Stop the Bus

The L's are stressed. Super Stressed...... I don't know quite what to tell the kids. It's one thing for me to be stressed and reactive, but M and the kids are the dots of glue that hold me together. If they are breathing hard, you can imagine my state of mind.

S is stressed about math for one thing. We've tried a bunch of things to help her out. It's almost all anxiety. She has so much math fear and anxiety that the least little sign of trouble shuts her down. She has trouble with simple addition and subtraction. As a 3rd grader moving on to more difficult concepts, her struggles are disconcerting to her and to me. M spent an hour with her tonight working with her on her worksheet tonight. Her eyes became glazed, her ears buzzed, and her anxiety grew. My solution to everything is practice, but of course she doesn't want to hear that.

It didn't help her situation that she was late to soccer practice this afternoon. She spent the afterschool time with her friend working on a poster for school and thought to zip home quickly for soccer gear. Her shin guards went missing so her friend left for practice without her as I suggested and she freaked out. Certainly didn't want to hear from mom, "Why don't you put your stuff away so you can find it when you need it?"

C had a rescheduled soccer game this afternoon across town. She came home crying. Her team lost. The crying was about more than the loss and not playing the defensive position she prefers. She reassured me that no one on her team was mean to her. She just said that her whole body hurt, she was tired, she hates losing, and didn't feel good. I offered to let her stay home tomorrow for a break, but she refused. She's my trooper! Play practice tomorrow morning and a track meet after school. I'm hoping she's not overextended and isn't setting herself up for a crash and burn.

Notice I didn't mention my sons. I haven't given up on Z.... I constantly remind myself to take a chill pill. I don't know what to do about him. His soul focus recently has been how he's going to celebrate his 12th b'day this weekend and how not to do anything until after I've asked him to do something at least three times. A is on constant BM watch. Let's not mention homework for either of them, chores, T.V. and computer time, or hygiene.

How Did THIS Quilt Become a UFO?

Some might wonder: what ever happened to the Log Cabin Quilt?!

I had four of five rows pieced together and just needed to sew the fifth row blocks together and then add it to the rest of the quilt top. I reluctantly agreed on the border fabric. Yes, that's the problem. I was never sold on the border fabric.





I guess I never got over not being able to use my first choice of border fabrics.



I could never sell M on it. The butterflies bugged him and he thought the aqua clashed.

My problem with his decision? It's not that the fabric isn't nice enough. It's simply too traditional for me and not funky enough.

I came across the Large Whimsy line while blog surfing Colorado bloggers the other day. I'm bound and determined to get some green in this quilt. If you thought M had a problem with butterflies, you just wait.

I like this one in particular:



I know I'm not the type to use fabric I'm not in love with. I don't know what I'm going to do?! Well........maybe that's not really the case.

Does This Sound Familiar? The Quilted Word by Frecklesquilts May 2008

I haven't changed at all! This was my first post in May 2008 on my first blog The Quilted Word by Frecklesquilts.

Okay, SO, I've tried to blog for almost two years now. I was successful for a couple of months before I got so irritated with myself that I stopped. It seemed all I did was COMPLAIN about how unhappy I was at home and at work. (I at one point wrote a whole page with pictures about how M didn't notice my haircut.) I also could never figure out how to get my layout to look the way I wanted it to or to have all the cool widget-y things that all my favorite blogs had.

Well, I haven't gotten rid of my family. (I did get a new job, though, so I hope that helps my mood for this blog. It's in the same industry--the one where furniture is NOT just furniture so I'm sure I'll have some bad days.) I'm still inept as far as the widgets go, but my 12-year old daughter has gotten pretty good about stuff like that. I'm not going to promise myself or anyone else that this blog is going to be all sunshine and light, but I will try to keep it on the brighter side of my life. It will probably be heavy on quilting because it's what I do when I'm not too down or distracted. I do write about other things besides quilting, but don't get too excited because I'm pretty boring.

If I can ever figure out how to get a picture of me up and which one I dare use--I think the last good picture I took was at my wedding 14 years ago and before that at age 5--you will understand "Frecklesquilts". I've never been that original.

If you can stand sarcasm-filled witless writing, I invite you back anytime!

HUgZ,

Shannon

So, what does this say about me? I'll never change? I should give up trying? hmmmm.....

Staycations, Soccer, and Car Shows

I've decided I need a Staycation sans husband and children. I want to take some time off to putter around the house and sew. If wishing were hopin'.... It's difficult for me to take time off because I don't have vacation benefits with this job. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

We were up bright and early for C's make-up soccer game. She had to be at the field at 8:30. I didn't get up early enough so M took her to the field and then came back for me. He bought me breakfast at McD's, but no coffee since I'd made my latte at home. If I'd of only known, I would have held out for an iced coffee. C's team lost and one of her teammates broke her wrist when she fell by trying to brace herself in the fall. I get ill just thinking about it because I think about C getting hurt. She' been pretty lucky so far--the only injury she's really had was when she broke her toe years ago on the playground kicking a soccer ball around with the boys wearing inappropriate shoes. She's got a nagging foot injury right now that we're not sure about the cause--the ball of her foot hurts after exercise. She's been icing it, but she's in discomfort after playing. I'm probably going to have to take her to the doctor. He'll probably just tell her to rest it.

It was also picture day today so M spent an hour or so this afternoon hanging out at the park with the kids so they could get their individual and team pictures taken. M reminded me to take their pics together before they left.



Soccer, Soccer, Soccer..... This after the three games yesterday!

M headed off to the Automobile Show when they got back. He loves to go and I'm happy to stay home. It would probably be like me dragging him to a quilt show. At this stage of our marriage, we don't even pretend to be interested in going together to events like this.

I tried an experiment last night and I'm not sure about the results. S spent the night at her friend's house. I slept in her bed. I didn't sleep all that well. I think I woke up just as much in that bed as I do usually in mine. I wish I had used my earplugs to make the experiment even. I'll have to wait until one of the girls spends the night to try again. It's 9 and I'm exhausted! I did work hard this weekend so may be that's why?

I took some more pictures of some of the uglies in my house....

From a couple of years ago. M thought this brown would be nice.

We used to have stained glass in the window of the door. It fell out and we now have plexiglass. So....Attractive and safe.

Thank you dogs for the tear and the snotty glass. One of the many screens that needs to be replaced.

The fireplace. The previous owner thought it was a good idea to paint the brick black and speckle it with white. The brass front doesn't fit right and the heat from the gas fireplace has discolored the paint. The chainlink screen is filthy.

Thanks, again, dogs! No we don't have rabid termites... The dogs chewed the wood posts when we used to keep them back there during the day.


M started patching the wall a couple of weeks ago. He hasn't done anything else. He left the container and spatula on the floor. It's still there as we speak.

Snatch Myself Bald

Some words of advice....

Don't go get your haircut after you've just read an article about how layers are supposed to make you look younger AND when you are mad at the world. I got my haircut last night impulsively.

I left work early yesterday to get my nails done. I couldn't stand them anymore. It had been over three weeks since I had them done so they looked terrible, were too long, and in danger of needing more than a rebase. I got the slow gal so it took me about an hour and a half in the chair. ugh! I didn't have time to get my haircut since I had to head home to spell my dad from watching the kids.

C decided to go to the last bit of soccer practice last night after her track meet so I dropped her off and zipped over to Great Clips. I never know what to do with my hair. It's gotten shorter and shorter over the years because my hair is one more thing I don't want to deal with. I told the stylist chin length and layers. I was disappointed last night, but I think it looks okay now since I blew it dry and styled it. I was really worried last night and was ready to be bald.



C likes it. M had nothing to say. We got into an argument yesterday morning about a youth group event and church in general. He told me to stop yelling--I wasn't, but that's how he bosses me even in an argument and I get even more flustered, forgetting what I'm really arguing about because the argument has been shifted to me "yelling"--and so I was annoyed the rest of the day and was in silent-treatment-mode when I got home. I also tuned everyone out with the IPod. If he said anything, I didn't hear him. He probably didn't, though, since he never has anything to say about the way I look. Yeah, I know....

I spent more time in the basement today, but I mostly just moved stuff around and swept up more dirt and fuzz. I've been so caught up in my emotions that I haven't been talking that much about the house and talking about the fact that I've been working bit by bit. I cleaned the mantle off today, too. I don't think M is too happy with me "dealing" with his stuff, but I'm tired of waiting for him to deal with it. I've been picking it all up and either putting it downstairs or on his side of the room on his dresser, etc.

I went through my sewing table drawers to go through all the junk in them. I've been seriously considering moving the sewing table downstairs and taking a break from quilting. I don't know if I can. I'm going to see how I feel in a week or so. I don't have any place to put the table in the basement right now to store it. I did pull all the junk out of the drawers, threw a ton of stuff away, and put the rest in a tote. Most of the things weren't items that I used everyday anyway. I still have five totes of fabric and projects in the living room. I went through all my ripped out quilting magazine pages so the itch is there to start another project. Forget the fact that I've abandoned the Log Cabin Quilt (more about that later) and become bored with the Keeping the Faith Quilt. (I've not totally abandoned it, but the blocks are so monotonus and I need something to work on besides making 96 half strip paper pieced blocks.)

I chucked the old New Moon Quilt blocks. I couldn't stand looking at them anymore up on the wall and they don't fit my plan. They represented the yuck that went with that entire situation and I feel like I'm closer to totally moving on.

The Flip-side of Friendship

Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves.

Albert Camus

Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back.

Blaise Pascal

Truth springs from argument amongst friends.

David Hume

There is little friendship in the world, and least of all between equals.

Francis Bacon

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Unknown

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

William Blake

I started looking for "friendship" quotes after hearing Peter Boyles this morning on the way to work. He said something similar to the last quote on the list and so I had to search for reference. The last quote is the closest I could find.

I finished another book last night. It's easy to zip through a book when I've got time to kill at soccer practices and when the books are small. The book of choice this time was Unwritten Rule by Elizabeth Scott. I've read other Scott books, including Something Maybe and.....Living Dead Girl (warning: not for the faint of heart!!!!!!!)

Sarah and Brianna have been friends since Kindergarten. Brianna "saved and picked" Sarah to be friends with her. Sarah is very loyal to the point of her own heartbreak. Brianna has it tough because her family life even though she is described as every high school boy's wet dream and seems to have it all otherwise. Sarah has had a crush on Ryan for years, but Brianna ends up being his girlfriend. A kiss happens, Brianna's dad abandons her, and Sarah must navigate through the pitfalls of friendship and all those unwritten rules. Who needs whom more? Just how did Ryan and Brianna end up together if Ryan really intended to be with Sarah? Is it possible to feel sorry for Brianna, but also want to slap her? And, more.........

Sure books provide entertainment and distraction for me, but I also think a lot about them during and after--not enough to the extent or worthiness of a bookclub-type discussion or English paper dissection. This book was no different.

There are a lot of unwritten rules for friendship and life in general. I see it even today with my girls, especially. C is a popular chick with a lot of friends. She seems to be well-liked and doesn't want for activity. We don't talk a lot about her life, but some of the things she's said about here friends came to mind while reading this book. S's friendships, too.

S made fast friends with a classmate soon after the start of the school year at her new school thank goodness! They get along well, but S is definitely second fiddle in their relationship in so many respects. She gets bossed a lot and gives in. She also isn't friends with anyone else really so she doesn't dare upset the relationship. C knows that she has to be careful to navigate her friendships, also. She carefully picks her activiites, her wardrobe, boys, etc. She follows the unwritten rules of not liking other friend's romantic interests even if old, unrequited, simple crushes, or friend's brothers.

I guess this is what life is really all about. I wouldn't know.