Quilt Diva Terrorist Extraordinaire

Warning: this post is all over the place, but it does have a destination and a point.....

Do you know the feeling when you really want to do something, but for one reason or another you can't get 'er done?

1) You don't have the skills or knowledge

2) You don't have the patience

3) You don't have the time

4) You don't play well with others

I'm probably overconfident, but there's not much with quilting that I don't think I could learn eventually if I put my mind to it and.....if I really had the patience and time to learn it. I am, after all, self taught. I've never taken a skills class. I've learned everything through a lot of trial and error using books, television, online tutorial, and such as my references. (This is just me. I know people swear by classes. I've even taken a couple, but I've never felt I got my money's worth. I'm also too self-conscious.)

I've been dabbling in the quilting world for 12 years. I made my first quilt for C in celebration of being a big girl and moving to her new toddler bed when she was barely two years old. (Her brother had just been born and we needed her crib or I would have probably not moved her so soon.) The quilt was a Rail Fence quilt made from fabrics that I was to use for the homeade crib set that I was supposed to make for her before she was born. (Sound familiar to anyone else's story--the delaying getting something done part?) I used a Quilt in a Day book.

The Quilt in a Day T.V. show was how I got turned onto to quilting. I find Eleanor Burns a little annoying to this day, but she's certainly a treasure to the quilting world. One of my LQS is a sponsor of the quilt shows on PBS. I shopped there first, but it wasn't long before I found Great American Quilt Factory. I fell in love. (GAQF is celebrating their 29th Anniversary!) The cool thing is that they know me there and always greet me by name when I walk in--it's like Cheers. They also used to publish and I think I have almost all of their books. My other favorite store now, and I make it a point to shop there more and more because of their frequent shopper program, is Holly's Quilt Cabin. They willingly and happily will cut a FQ of any fabric and offer $25 g/c for every $250.00 one spends (regular exclusions apply).

I quickly got into Internet Quilting that first year or so. I'd never used the 'Net much before I started to work for the dentist in October 2008. I learned fast, though! I was soon ordering fabric online, joining Yahoo Groups for swaps, and retreating with people I'd met online in Arkansas. I had a passion for quilting!

I became consumed with swapping. I loved to buy fabric. I liked chatting online. I liked showing and sharing my quilting prowess in the groups. I was a DIVA even then and a show-off. (That's not to say that my blocks were spectacular as far as technique--most were simple and uninspired--but they were well pieced, the proper size, etc.) I rarely used the blocks I got back as you can well imagine. I wasn't a good swapper in the true sense--I was a notorious procrastinator, a few times I didn't meet deadlines, I spent oodles of money on expedited shipping, and I rarely completed any projects with the blocks I received. I know I missed the point of friendship and the swapping purpose even then. The groups had many level of quilters that participated. Most of the experienced and expert quilters were totally able to use the blocks they received because they understood what Swapping and Quilt Fellowship was all about.

I stopped swapping and focused on my quilting after a run-in at my main group. Ha--you're not surprised?! I remember the project well. Participants sent a group of blocks from a U.F.O. for someone else to finish. I procrastinated and missed a deadline. I fell out of touch. The person hated how I finished her blocks. I didn't appreciate how she finished my blocks. A war of words ensued. I left the group!

I was on my own in the quilting world for a number of years before the Twilight saga/disruption/addiction/ entered my life. No need to rehash. Not so stunningly, what happened there has a lot of similarities to my above mentioned issues. I never learn or change.

I certainly have an inflated opinion about my quilting, don't I? One would think I was a master? I'm pretty horrible! In a perfect world, because I know all this, I would change. The safer thing for me to do is to not participate in group projects and to just do my own thing. I don't look down my nose at everyone. Don't believe me? I don't! I'm fine with everyone's skill set if you are fine with it. The disconnect comes and the conflict is the group project.

I still have a lot of things I'd like to accomplish. I'm finding it so difficult to recognize that I may never be that person because of time, personality, and brain function. It's not enough for me to think and say I want to learn how to draft paper piecing patterns or machine quilt. I may not be able to.

I may not be able to do a lot of things.