The Irony of it All

I have a lot of time on my hands to sit and think.  This could be a good or a bad thing.....  I'm going to sound ungrateful, rude, crude, too honest, and probably resentful.  Read on at your own risk!

Things of late:

I want to have friends, but I rarely enjoy the entanglements that come as a result.  I become weary too fast.  The dynamics of most relationships and drama make me withdraw very quickly.  I also recognize that I'm too difficult in large or extended doses.  (The day that someone will take me as I am will be the day I have a BFF.)

I'm honestly having more fun doing my own thing now.  I don't have to answer to anyone.  I don't have to play nice.  I'm united with a couple of people at the moment because of a will to survive and not surrender.  We desire not to be bullied away from two loves and that is our common purpose.  But, I'm still pretty much on my own.

What is it that I'm really missing?  The interaction probably more than anything.  I only miss a couple of people because I enjoyed their ideas and their work.  I can honestly say that I probably wouldn't have been friends with even these people in real life because our points of view and lifestyles were just too different.  (I've never said, but even with difficulties with online interactions it became much more apparent during my visit to Utah last fall.  I wanted to see a quilt and hang with friends, but got dragged around town to religious sites and witnessed a wild spending spree instead.  Even then people were talking behind other people's backs and making judgments about family, religion, and quilting skills.)

Quilting Twilight is just not that big of a deal to the rest of the fandom or the world.  From the millions of people in the fandom, only a handful of people participate despite national and local publicity, etc.  I'm not saying that there aren't more people out there doing their own thing or that don't admire the quilts, but really how popular and influential is a Twilight quilting group going to be in the fandom?  How many people really want to be quilt Twilight?  How many people will voice their opinions with their wallets for handmade goods?

It's almost just another interesting novelty to the fandom.

Most of the world doesn't understand the work and love that goes into making a quilt.  We've all got stories of how we made a quilt for a family member or friend and they turned their noses up at the gift in one way or another.  I propose that most of us quilt for ourselves.  We want people to appreciate the art, but most people don't and won't ever truly understand or appreciate quilting.  How selfish am I when I give a quilt as a gift?  I want people to be in awe and I like hearing the compliments.  How many people would rather get something else, though?  It's not that quilts don't make nice gifts, but most people just see them as a blanket.

I will still quilt Twilight because I love seeing the books come to life in quilts.  I enjoy finding ways to make this happen.  I love to quilt.  I love Twilight.  No one has exclusive rights to combining both passions.  No one.....not even me.......or them.  I can honestly say that I am trying to prove a point, but my main purpose will always be for the LOVE.