When one is part of a group or friends with someone, sharing becomes part of the bonding experience. It establishes and reinforces trust. It solidifies a relationship.
I've been quietly working on my friendship with S's friend's mom in the past month or so. It's not that we haven't talked a little before now and I even went to see New Moon the first time with her, but we've not taken our friendship to the next level before now. I've been reluctant to become more than just S's mom because of my recent difficulties and the fear of any complications that may arise with future difficulties between the girls or between us that would cause problems with either friendship. I'm not saying that we will be BFF's, but it's nice to be friends with another person. We share some common interests with some similar family angst issues and, if nothing else, it's fun to chat.
We've moved onto to the sharing stage. I loaned her The Host and she loaned me the first book in the Left Behind series. We've talked about Twilight. We've discussed some family issues.
In the back of mind, I keep telling myself to proceed with caution! Don't screw this up! Don't share too much!
How quickly things can change when you are no longer friends with someone. The stuff you have said can be used against you. You may find out that what you were told was a lie in the interest of friendship. Relationships become explosive!
Back to yesterday's sharing post and quilting, though......
When you are friends with someone, sharing of quilt patterns is a bonding experience/ritual and not the copyright infringement it really is.
When you are sharing ideas, you are helping someone not forcing your style on someone or being a bully.
When someone uses your work or an idea, you are being complimented not stolen from.
When you disagree with someone, you are giving your opinion not being a bitch.
When you are a good quilter, people appreciate your work and don't think you're showing them up.
When you make suggestions, you are being constructive and sharing knowledge not being critical and too perfect.
Do you have any?
1 hour ago
Shannon, I am exactly the same way!!! I have no friends in person. I only really confide in 1 of my sisterinlaws. But only recently. I totally agree with everything you said. I did have a friend for a little while in person. She was having marriage problems. (they are divorced now). When her husband came back from Iraq I did not have anything to say to him because he treated her so badly. I had so much guilt about that that I cared so much for her and her kids that by not talking to her husband I probably made things worse for her.(In my sane mind I know I had nothing to do with the demise of their relationship!)But all the lost sleep was rediculous! She has since moved to utah and I am secretly glad we are only facebook friends now. Please don't tell anyone that I am PSYCHO!LOL
ReplyDelete